You're not fooling anyone by taking your clothes off when you go to bed.

Nudity is fun, especially out of doors, but it is far more erotic when the wrappings are only partly removed from the treasures they conceal. When you undress a woman you are opening the drapes in a darkened room to gaze upon a glimpse of paradise.

Underwear is the female second skin.

When you undress a woman you discover in her lingerie clues to her mood and desires. These whispers of silk and satin are our armour, our feathers and fantasy – black-sexy, pink-girlie, white-virginal, red-anything might happen and (we pray) almost certainly will.

Just as the act of love should never be rushed – except between floors in an elevator, or with a stranger on a train – you should undress a woman with the same slow devotion she has shown in getting dressed.

Getting dressed for a woman is an art form, surreal, vaguely abstract, figurative and byzantine. When you undress a woman you enter her subconscious kingdom, her scents, her secrets and her fantasy.