There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of negativity because I thought there'd be something I'd miss that was funny in the future. If there's a chance I'm going to laugh tomorrow then want to live to experience that.
Dave Navarro
Related There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of ... DAVE NAVARRO When I was in Greenough, Montana, I came across a bear cub. I was off this path, and I thought, If t... AL ROKER My life has been many examples of shortsighted goals that I thought would fix things. You know, if t... TRENT REZNOR There's a rumor going around that I'm Miss Goody-two-shoes from Australia. Well, that's ... OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN It's phenomenally important to me that, if I'm going to be spending years on a project, I ne... MARY MCDONNELL Honestly, I never thought I'd actually be playing a teen lesbian. I didn't think it was goin... NAYA RIVERA I thought I'd reached the bottom a few times, but then I'd realise there was another 30 floo... TRENT REZNOR I felt, selfishly, that if there was going to be a TV show about 'Hannibal Lecter' whether I... BRYAN FULLER Sometimes you don't want to get married too much to a lot of rehearsing, I feel, when it comes t... SEBASTIAN STAN In terms of jobs, I'm an actor. There's gotta' be depth there. I'd never say yes to ... BILL SKARSGARD When I got Jacob's Latter, I was nervous because I felt I wasn't allowed to fail. I felt tha... ELIZABETH PENA When I was young, I'd fight everyone who insisted I'd be an actress. I'd say, 'No wa... IRELAND BALDWIN There's really nothing else I'm going to do with my life. I'd be useless if I weren'... TARYN MANNING I've always been interested in singing. My sister's a fantastic singer, and it's just so... CHARLIE ROWE Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON There's a hunger and a fervor that I have, but there's no person I'm going to push to th... DREW BARRYMORE Well, I've thought many times when my career was in the toilet, that I was going to have to seri... AARON ECKHART I've seen a fair bit of the States and the rest of the world, and I'm convinced that there... GARTH ENNIS If China were to explode, I'd want to be there in a flash. If there's a big story, I want to... BOB SIMON I'm happy that I have my family, and I'm happy that I had Virginia, where I grew up, to retr... DAVE GROHL If I start planning then that's dangerous because then I have a target that I'm blinkered to... PAULA RADCLIFFE I do have to say, there is this incredible benefit to being older. I never thought I'd say that.... JENNIFER COOLIDGE If I'm thinking about a particular injury, then I'm already a step behind. If I'm so gun... CAM NEWTON I'm incredibly neurotic and a control freak. I like the thought that if there's going to be ... LAURA MARLING There were times when I blundered and got the dreaded look from the lads. But that was a good sign. ... JOHN BONHAM If there's going to be another Misfits record, I'd probably have to write the stuff. GLENN DANZIG It's important to show that there's different ways of doing things. Some people like to be g... ALESSIA CARA There's a part of me that wishes I'd never said one single solitary word on any subject publ... RICHARD THOMPSON I'm not like J.K. Rowling, where I know there's going to be this number of seasons, and I kn... ALAN BALL I live in a country where I'd say nine out of ten people know me when I walk through the streets... TREVOR NOAH And I've always felt comfortable certainly in a courtroom because you're just performing. An... SCOTT BAKULA There's something about beautiful moments in sports that alters our experience of time. And I... ROSS GAY I do not have bad days. I don't wake up in the morning and think that I'm going to get AIDS.... MAGIC JOHNSON I think a lot of people mistake my confidence on stage for cockiness in real life, and that's ac... RUSSELL PETERS I've been on 'Jay Leno,' and everyone likes Jay, but being on that show is a really bori... HENRY ROLLINS It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill JUDE WATSON There were days when I was literally running for hours in the forest and then I'd jump on a plan... PETER FACINELLI As a youngster, my mother and father always drilled into my head having something to fall back on. M... SHAQUILLE O'NEAL I used to take my mother to Yosemite. When I turned 14, I got my driver's license, and that'... DAVE BRUBECK I'm a working class lad. So at 25, and with no-one in our family having any theatrical inclinati... ROB JAMES-COLLIER I would love to host 'Saturday Night Live.' That's one of my goals in life - just puttin... ALESSIA CARA I knew going in that being a single parent would be one of the toughest jobs I'd ever have. I... ARSENIO HALL I do know that I've read somewhere that it's been statistically proven that in times of war,... AARON STANFORD I'd really love to work with Quentin Tarantino. There's so many people that I'd love to ... MAIKA MONROE You're going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you've got to start going there. J.D. SALINGER Hopefully, after 'Victorious' has lived a long and beautiful life, I would like to go into m... ELIZABETH GILLIES There'll be moments when I'm out in the prison yard, chatting with the cast and the crew, ge... WENTWORTH MILLER I had a really hard time after 9/11. I was basically living across the street from the World Trade C... ELIZABETH WURTZEL I have learned from personal experience that putting trust in God means there will be some unanswere... JOYCE MEYER I've always felt that if something is polarizing, that's usually the stuff I like the most. ... ANDY SAMBERG If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. EUBIE BLAKE My first impression when I made it through was 'Good, because I'm going to prove to you that... NAIMA ADEDAPO I'm 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I'm playing right where I'm suppose... EDDIE MURPHY There's something very special about seeing history so clearly in front of you through that arch... CHARLIE COX I never thought I'd say the sentence 'It was a real honour' - because that implies that ... ELLIE GOULDING I know there are going to be big challenges financially, but I'm excited artistically. I think t... KAREN KAIN I believe in exploration, and I will miss being on the front lines of that endeavor. On one hand, I ... SCOTT KELLY When I get to 40, I'm going to re-evaluate everything and then go from there. Because when I get... JASON DAY If I'm enjoying something, I'd like to be able to just have it all. Frankly, that's the ... JASON BATEMAN I actually used to make these little plays. I would stand there, and I would act out where I was dyi... MADISON DAVENPORT I'm the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was... ANDY WARHOL I'm not recognised that much. I'm just a bald man in glasses and there's a rash of them ... RODDY DOYLE Am I ever going to be able to play football again? What's going on with my career? I was just th... ROB GRONKOWSKI I try to live my life as honestly as I can, and the last thing I want is to pretend to be something ... CHERIE LUNGHI I'm a spoilt brat. I thought I was just going to walk in and make movies. But I'd been my ow... FRANK MILLER I know she would want me to still do what I'm doing, because she kept me going a lot of times wh... EARL SCRUGGS There have been many times when I've been asked to appear and I'd say to myself, what am I g... OTIS BLACKWELL I want to go to Jamaica, actually. My whole family's from there, so I'd like to go there. ASTRO I've always thought Harper Lee might have made a great decision. Much as you'd like to have ... CHARLES FRAZIER There is some humour in 'Family Values.' I don't want everyone to think it's not goi... WENDY COPE What is extraordinary about the character of Edna - and I speak as though I am completely outside th... BARRY HUMPHRIES It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea. JUDE WATSON When I was a kid, I would do Andrew Dice Clay jokes for my siblings. Like, we'd be on vacation, ... NICK KROLL I thought Beverly Hills was a gated community. I always drove around Beverly Hills because I thought... MADCHEN AMICK Let's be honest: the trappings of investment banking are quite tempting. I do miss it sometimes.... CHETAN BHAGAT If I'm going to go out to be a solo artist, it's because I want to do something different wi... CHRIS CORNELL There was a while when I was feeling like, 'Damn, if I'd just been born black, I would not h... EMINEM When I turned 50, something clicked in my head and I said, 'I'm not going to live to 100. I&... KEVIN O'LEARY What I don't like to hear in music is something has not been thought through: that a sound is ju... ZEDD There was a period where I was a little scared that I'd blown my chance. CARLENE CARTER If I'd had the chance, I'd like to have completed my degree before going full-time, and spor... RAJIV OUSEPH I know it won't be eight medals again. If you want to compare me to that, that's your decisi... MICHAEL PHELPS I'm going to be true to what I want to do, because if I care what people think about me, I'm... DONNY OSMOND I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there's not much I can do about that. But I... JESSE VENTURA Doing new stuff live is tough just simply because I pay my money, I stand in my seats, and I see the... GARTH BROOKS If I'm going to be away from my family, I'd rather it be working with my friends. ADAM SCOTT It's true to say that I'm a budding young actor. But I'd rather get my name out there be... JOSH BOWMAN In so far as I have any beliefs, I suppose I'm like that old Peggy Lee song, 'Is That All Th... PETER ACKROYD I have to teach myself. I kind of wish I'd continued with my education, but that's something... BILLIE PIPER I come from West London. I support a football team there called Queens Park Rangers, whom I'd li... BEN LLOYD-HUGHES When I was going on auditions, it was nerve-racking. I'd always say to my mom that it would be a... RICO RODRIGUEZ I used to kind of go for it, right? Like, I'd be the one who would say, 'All right, there... DAN COLEN I mean, if you asked me what I'm going to be doing when I'm 85, I'd make a quick picture... DAVID JOHANSEN I haven't traveled in Africa nearly as much as I'd like to. I've been there a few times,... CHICK COREA Who would have ever thought that I'd end up saying that I want to be an all-around entertainer? ... ROGER DALTREY There was a time when I just felt like a superwoman. I was like, 'I got Jesus! I ain't afrai... TASHA SMITH I'd like to believe that tomorrow is another challenge for me. I'm sure there is lots more f... AMITABH BACHCHAN There's not much that I haven't done in my life, but there's lots of things that I'd... ALAN THICKE I know that there's a god because I was able to survive everything that I've been through - ... FLOYD MAYWEATHER, JR.
More Dave Navarro
I wish I was a shredder that could play everything, but I don't have the patience. DAVE NAVARRO I have never been sexually aroused by a man. But I have yet to kiss Johnny Depp, so you never know. DAVE NAVARRO Everyone's stunned when they see me all done up in some kind of costume, but they never ask what i'm... DAVE NAVARRO When a new person comes in, you can't help but evolve. Steve comes from a singer/songwriter backgrou... DAVE NAVARRO I'm either shooting nine grams of coke a day or spending two hours at the gym. There's no mi... DAVE NAVARRO I think if there's a vacancy like that, hopefully it will make bands get more creative, and turn up,... DAVE NAVARRO I think if there's a vacancy like that, hopefully it will make bands get more creative, and turn up,... DAVE NAVARRO Guitar playing is just something that came to me and is really second nature now. DAVE NAVARRO And I've also come to the conclusion that, as far as guitar solos and things like that are conce... DAVE NAVARRO Baby I Love Your Way. DAVE NAVARRO I've always been a fan of music where you can hear new things each time you listen. DAVE NAVARRO This is a place where stars can feel like freaks, and freaks can feel like stars. I want to put stri... DAVE NAVARRO We like to think that we are stronger than our compulsions. But when time after time we can't break ... DAVE NAVARRO The beautiful thing about CBGB is that I don't have a single memory from that place, ... But I think... DAVE NAVARRO Not only did I get to hear some great rock songs every week, but I got to know all the guys in INXS ... DAVE NAVARRO The beautiful thing about CBGB is that I don't have a single memory from that place. But I think it ... DAVE NAVARRO It's impossible to compare two bands. It would be like comparing two lovers. DAVE NAVARRO I grew up listening to albums by Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix, and they all worked on t... DAVE NAVARRO If there was a channel that showed nothing but hysteria and panic, it would be the highest-rated cha... DAVE NAVARRO There have been times when I felt suicidal and I would stop my head from going in that direction of ... DAVE NAVARRO I'm as obsessive with health as I was with destruction. DAVE NAVARRO We're going to have the hottest chicks in Hollywood here, DAVE NAVARRO I"m either shooting nine grams of coke a day or spending two hours at the gym. There's no middle gro... DAVE NAVARRO Van Halen would be awesome -- I'd just love to sit and hang with Ed [Van Halen]. DAVE NAVARRO We hope that even a thief has a heart. DAVE NAVARRO I've done a lot of talk shows where you can tell that the host is just thinking about what he wa... DAVE NAVARRO Yeah, I can read music and I know the names of chords. DAVE NAVARRO I'm not the type of player to sit home and practice scales and work on runs. DAVE NAVARRO As a viewer of television if there's something I don't like or find offensive, I just don... DAVE NAVARRO I'm thrilled I have the opportunity to do the 'Spread' show and have the terrific sponso... DAVE NAVARRO So as long as I can do the music or create, I'll feel fine. DAVE NAVARRO I've always recorded the same way. I put down as many ideas as I have, then strip them away at t... DAVE NAVARRO Men are much more agressive with their advances. DAVE NAVARRO I'm as obsessive with health as I was with destruction. DAVE NAVARRO Jane's Addiction has only put out new music when our hearts were in and when we had something to... DAVE NAVARRO It's impossible to compare two bands. It would be like comparing two lovers. DAVE NAVARRO Even though Mr. Trump is a billionaire, he is still able to relate to average working men and women.... PETER NAVARRO Let me say right off the bat that I'm not what you would call a 'tree hugger' or a '... PETER NAVARRO The best way to lift people out of poverty and boost wages is to grow our GDP faster. While Trump is... PETER NAVARRO Here's the broader inconvenient truth for both Clinton and women's rights that Trump is more... PETER NAVARRO For those of you who still believe in the Easter Bunny and that the letters that appear in your loca... PETER NAVARRO If you've been to China, you know there are over 100 cities in China, and the pollution levels a... PETER NAVARRO Some people instinctively have a negative reaction to things of that sort. ANA NAVARRO There is bipartisan support for immigration reform in South Florida, including Gov. Jeb Bush, includ... ANA NAVARRO She was always willing to meet and strategize and support those who were working in favor of CAFTA. ANA NAVARRO We haven't seen this kind of debate in years. This is an election year, and this is a high-profile i... ANA NAVARRO The way the textbook works is you have gains from trade that should be distributed across all the tr... PETER NAVARRO Donald Trump is not a protectionist. If he imposes tariffs on China or any other country that cheats... PETER NAVARRO We need to take this critical mass and organize it. Marching is not enough. We need to harness this ... ARMANDO NAVARRO Timing is everything in politics, and the timing is with us right now. ARMANDO NAVARRO It was one thing to march. Now we're going to hit 'em where it hurts in the pocketbooks. ARMANDO NAVARRO The only ones who moved on it aggressively was Chicago. They took it, they ran with it and produced ... ARMANDO NAVARRO Marches will only get you so far. There has to be an electoral component to get the Republicans out ... ARMANDO NAVARRO People respond to fear. They respond when their self-interests are going to be impacted. ARMANDO NAVARRO For about the first 30 minutes it was chaotic with everybody raising their hands and speaking. Then ... ARMANDO NAVARRO Our credibility as a community is on the line. We've shown our power politically, but if we can't sh... ARMANDO NAVARRO I think that this is a contagion that can't be stopped. It is growing by leaps and bounds. ARMANDO NAVARRO It does the American economy no long-term good to only keep the big box factories where we are now a... PETER NAVARRO There's a natural antipathy on the part of the voters to a continuation of globalization as we k... PETER NAVARRO The defining moment in American economic history is when Bill Clinton lobbied to get China into the ... PETER NAVARRO In a free market and in the absence of planning, developers will flatten every hillside, fill every ... PETER NAVARRO Would you rather have cheap, subsidized - illegally subsidized - goods dumped into the Wal-Mart and ... PETER NAVARRO My fellow economists and academics fail to understand the economics of trade in the real world. Trad... PETER NAVARRO My citizen activism is a direct outgrowth of a classical and fiscally conservative training in econo... PETER NAVARRO I just want to keep working hard and doing what the trainers tell me to do to get better. I did some... DIONER NAVARRO I don't know why so many people in America hate Hillary Clinton; I found her to be one of the mo... PETER NAVARRO For many people, their phones are near and dear to them. They want to make a statement. When people ... ART NAVARRO It's a very complex issue of regulatory policy and wireless science. The issue is often challenging ... ART NAVARRO It's been an issue we've been addressing for a while. ART NAVARRO There may be some inconveniences while the work is taking place, but the end result is a smoother an... ART NAVARRO It's that evil twin part of me that always comes out at the absolute wrong political moment, lik... PETER NAVARRO It was one thing to march. Now we're going to hit 'em where it hurts in the pocketbooks. ARMANDO NAVARRO Bienvenidos a mi barco pirata. Vamos rumbo a Venecia, a cazar vampiros. SOFíA NAVARRO Al Gore has all of the positive attributes of Bill Clinton but is saddled with none of his negatives... PETER NAVARRO It's extraordinary to me - you cannot name a presidential candidate in history who has singlehan... PETER NAVARRO It's my fault for not having revealed it earlier, but I hadn't given it much importance. I didn't wa... JAVI NAVARRO The biggest single thing China needs to do is build an emergent middle class and domestic consumptio... PETER NAVARRO It feels pretty comfortable. I don't want to say 100 percent, but it feels pretty comfortable. All I... DIONER NAVARRO I thought I was done. I've never had an injury like that in my life. I thought I was going to be out... DIONER NAVARRO It's better than they thought it was going to be and a lot better than I expected. It's looking good... DIONER NAVARRO The only thing different, DIONER NAVARRO His ball was moving like crazy, ... I think he was incredible tonight. He was working ahead of every... DIONER NAVARRO I think that he was pretty much doing what he was supposed to do, but he didn't make good enough pit... DIONER NAVARRO It was quite a good experience, a once-in-a-lifetime chance, and I wanna thank the Dodgers for letti... DIONER NAVARRO It was the best experience of my life, DIONER NAVARRO He has confidence in making his pitches now. He wasn't the only one frustrated in Vegas. I was frust... DIONER NAVARRO It doesn't matter to me who's the most powerful or profitable country in the world. All coun... PETER NAVARRO If money is the root of all evil, then China's manipulation of its currency, the yuan, is the ta... PETER NAVARRO We're already in a trade war with China. The problem is we've not been fighting back. Trump,... PETER NAVARRO I am of the school that believes, for the most part, that gays are born and not made. That is, I bel... PETER NAVARRO One of the goals of the Trump administration is to reclaim all of the supply chain and manufacturing... PETER NAVARRO I teach MBAs. And I noticed, starting a few years after China joined the World Trade Organization, t... PETER NAVARRO The far more likely Trump scenario is this: Chinese leaders realize they no longer have a weak leade... PETER NAVARRO I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ... DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But... DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ... DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi... DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century. DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe... DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ... DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a... DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod... DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t... DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui... DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s... DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk. DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou... DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a... DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra... DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible. DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio... DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a... DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se... DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each... DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be... DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ... DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ... DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea... DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th... DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i... DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ... DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts. DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're... DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do... DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso... DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va... DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'... DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ... DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to... DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or... DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts.. Everything is ONE! DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor... DAVE BARRY I'm so alive. As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte... DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr... DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi... DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on... DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless... DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio... DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu... DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church. DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth... DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l... DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on. DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ... DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you. DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ... DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have... DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r... DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba... DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this. DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee Making plans to change the world While the world is changing... DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi... DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En... DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time... DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me? DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit... DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ... DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading. DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long. DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b... DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o... DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be... DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula... DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ... DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told. DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ... DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ... DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in... DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went... DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h... DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo... DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon. DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ... DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer... DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p... DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they... DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst... DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris... DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas... DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y... DAVE BARRY