A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'


Tommy Cooper

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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around ...
TOMMY COOPER
The haughty blind person picks a fight with his guide. - Ethiopia
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The haughty blind person picks a fight with his guide. - Ethiopia
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A blind man knows he cannot see, and is glad to be led, though it be by a dog; but he that is blind ...
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A blind man knows he cannot see, and is glad to be led, though it be by a dog; but he that is blind ...
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By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes.
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Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often.
ALEXI SAYLE
Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often.
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The end of 'City Lights' makes me cry every time I see it - when Charlie Chaplin walks by th...
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Well, you can't know it without something having been sneezed.
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We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.
Even longer,' Pooh answered.”
...
A.A. MILNE
Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies ne...
PATRICK NESS
He was at a car repair shop owned by one of his friends at the time, attempting to get rid of the ev...
LU XIANGJUN
I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog.
WHITNEY M. YOUNG, JR.
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
WENDY LIEBMAN
I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog.
WHITNEY M. YOUNG JR.
I was never a good-looking bloke. Not by a long chalk.
ROD STEWART
We begin to fight. The wind and I. Horns locked. Battling each other with elements.
LAURA DOCKRILL
Even a blind man could see she is beautiful.
KEN POIROT
Bob loves to shop. He likes to shop the way a woman likes to shop. I think it took him three weeks t...
TONY MARCOPULOS
You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace."
I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl...
TAMMARA WEBBER
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
WENDY LIEBMAN
Using a dog as a narrator has limitations and it has advantages. The limitations are that a dog cann...
GARTH STEIN
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you ...
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A man comes into a bar, obviously nervous and obviously in a hurry, walks over to the counter, picks...
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All a guy needed was a chance. Somebody was alway controlling who got a chance and who didn't.
CHARLES BUKOWSKI
He is a bloke who can win a World Cup for Australia - he is that good.
DARREN LEHMANN
I always said, 'A blind dog with three legs could get a standing ovation for singing 'I'...
POLLY BERGEN
I just couldn't lose to a bloke wearing a shirt like that.
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When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing w...
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Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and s...
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It is a lie.
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Love is a growing, or full constant light,
And his first minute, after noon, is night.
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You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part.
HENRY JAMES
A bloke for the 90s
DAMIEN HIRST
The loneliest, most down-on-his-luck person can have a dog who adores him. The most bitter, sour per...
W. BRUCE CAMERON
The loneliest, most down-on-his-luck person can have a dog who adores him. The most bitter, sour per...
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Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming hom...
JACK HANDY
I'm fucking the grave, I thought, I'm bringing the dead back to life...
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He's a terrific young bloke, but he might suffer the consequences of his father's white-line fever,
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A smile played around the corners of his mouth. He looked up at me. "Bad dog.
RACHEL HAWKINS
Can't think of anything to say. Feeling a bit nervy. Kinda like a bloke who has just asked the girl ...
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JOHNNIE DENT JR.
To know the hurt of what losing a loved one brings. Well put it this way time does not heal, you lea...
GARY F EVANS...
You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a ci...
NORMAN WISDOM
He was at his brother's house and was just playing with the dog, wrestling around with him. The dog ...
BOB GARCIA
The idea of having a house, a kid, a husband, and a dog... I love that. I also really want to open a...
SAM SMITH
He was a terrific bloke. He's going to be missed.
JOHN COPELAND
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said ...
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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said ...
TIM VINE
Having been shown the possibility that God exists, the atheist has chosen not to accept it. They hav...
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He's had a brilliant season. He is a likeable bloke and his performances have been terrific and exce...
ALEX MCLEISH
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live wi...
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Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?'
'Supposing it didn't,' said Pooh...
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How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
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I'm a thinker. That is what I do, in great depth and detail, every waking moment of the day. I like ...
BRIAN HERBERT
Unification of differences is power.
SHESH NATH VERNWAL
I'm a country redneck bloke
DAVE ALLEN
He's just really, really focused on turning this around. He has a plan, and it starts with finding a...
JEFF BACKUS
Just the other day, my assistant was on the line with Calvin Klein. Golly, I usually shop at Sears.
BILLY BOB THORNTON
I was thrilled when a designer shop assistant said I was a size smaller than Madonna!
ANNE ROBINSON
A lot of students showed up, ... People milled around from shop to shop. The vendors were happy and ...
BETH WOOD
If you turn a blind eye to the world now, history will turn a blind eye to you later. Ignoring an is...
STEWART STAFFORD
I am his Highness dog at Kew; pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?
ALEXANDER POPE
I am his Highness' dog at Kew; Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?
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As soon as I walked out of the shop, you know the assistant pro would get on the phone and call his ...
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He's a big, lovely bloke with two gold front teeth.
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A simple fuck is one thing, but let a man sleep with you just once and he thinks he can bring his do...
MICHEL FABER
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STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I love my mom so much. I don't care if that's corny to say. I think on my next birthday, I'm going t...
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We Are All Infinite
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
(All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes...
JEAN SASSON
You can't just sit there and put everyone's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I saw other people there. Old men sitting alone. Young girls with blue eye shadow and awkward jaws. ...
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That one moment when you know you are not a sad story. You are ALIVE.
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Somos quienes somos por un montón de razones.Quizás nunca conozcamos la mayoría de ellas.Pero aun...
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Ambos dijeron que tomara asiento y parecían hablar en serio, así que me senté.
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I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all beco...
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So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybewe'll never know most of them.
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So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them.
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There's nothing like the deep breathes after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore st...
STHEPHEN CHBOSKY
no more pencils, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks, when the teacher rings the bell, drop...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I don't know the significance of this, but I find it very interesting.
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His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha...
TEKOA MANNING
I am his Highness' dog at Kew;
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This bloke is no journeyman. He's far from that. He's very tough with a bagful of antics.
BRENDON SMITH
I can remember, we walked by one little shop and the owner was just sitting there on the steps with ...
CHRIS EYRE
God cuts out our path, makes a groove in the clay with His finger, and we poor blind ants slide down...
MARIA MCCANN
You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, yo...
DAVE BARRY
Unsubscribe from should-a, would-a, could-a
MICHAEL H. DANSBURY
A successful teacher is one who has atleast 2 students in his class, one who sees no reason to study...
APURVA GAGLANI
Daring to dream is not difficult, it's making them come true that is hard...
NANETTE L. AVERY
The Dog and the Shadow A DOG, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth, sa...
AESOP
If I provide for this life and turn away from the Lord, I am wise for a moment, but lost forever.
FRANCINE RIVERS
The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS

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TOMMY LEE
Most drummers are covered with a million drums, and everyone is like, 'What are you doing back t...
TOMMY LEE
Too many drummers sit at the back covered in drums, and you never see them.
TOMMY LEE
The ultimate censorship is the flick of the dial.
TOMMY SMOTHERS
If I have an idea, I write it down, although I usually carry a little dictation machine with me beca...
TOMMY SHAW
The quad toms are a completely different animal than the standard drum set/trap kit. Playing wise an...
TOMMY LEE
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
TOMMY MANVILLE
Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!
TOMMY SMOTHERS
The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not theirs.
TOMMY LASORDA
Getting married in four days was the biggest... mistake I've ever made. I have two beautiful kid...
TOMMY LEE
Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.
TOMMY BOLT
He wants Texas back. (when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela mig...
TOMMY LASORDA
The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the...
TOMMY CHONG
In high school, I got into folk music, and I taught myself guitar. And when The Beatles came out, I ...
TOMMY RAMONE
Stupidity is genius, it's the genius part that is often misunderstood.
TOMMY POLO
Express yourself, don't hurt yourself.
TOMMY WISEAU
Groupies are just very enthusiastic fans, that's all.
TOMMY RAMONE
They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable.
TOMMY CHONG
For me, I love to dream big, and I love to find ways to be a bit of an explorer. These days, it seem...
TOMMY CALDWELL
Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine w...
TOMMY DOUGLAS
One of his strengths is being precise in what he's doing and any quarterback, whether you're young o...
TOMMY MADDOX
a hammer and an anvil.
TOMMY FRANKS
Chan Ho had a great career and was the exemplification of class, dignity and character.
TOMMY LASORDA
The GRAMMY was a huge deal. It's the height of any musical career.
TOMMY CHONG
I've never used one word of profanity in front of my wife, or my daughter, or my granddaughter.....
TOMMY LASORDA
I don't need material things like gold and platinum records on my wall, Grammys or Hall Of Fame ...
TOMMY LEE
I did the marching band all throughout junior high and high school. Music was one of my favorite thi...
TOMMY LEE
One of my favorite things in the world is to be seeing two people that are really old, still holding...
TOMMY LEE
I think we focused on this game more than Tuesday (a narrow 70-68 win over Avinger). We were almost ...
TOMMY BLEEKER
I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn&#...
TOMMY CHONG
I, for one, begin with intent. There is no question that, Saddam Hussein had intent to do harm to th...
TOMMY FRANKS
It's a very sad day for people like myself who loved him to bits. The only thing was he should have ...
TOMMY DOCHERTY
Personally, I am very, very sorry we have come to this. I suppose it is another sign of the times.
TOMMY DOCHERTY
Football wasn't meant to be run by linesmen and air traffic control.
TOMMY DOCHERTY
I've always said there's a place for the press but they haven't dug it yet.
TOMMY DOCHERTY
I said to myself, where are we living? In the United States of America where you're innocent unt...
TOMMY BOND
I tend to pick objectives that I feel are safe because I know that, in the moment, I always go for i...
TOMMY CALDWELL
Liz did a great job pitching and she didn't give up a lot of hits. (The Hawks) just put back-to-back...
TOMMY RAMOS
The first record was basically a quick, fast record. The second record, we were going for more of a ...
TOMMY RAMONE
The Western world, the free world, loses what it cherishes most, and that is freedom and liberty we&...
TOMMY FRANKS
[For his part, retired Gen. Tommy Franks, who has been speaking out as a Bush surrogate, has an op-e...
TOMMY FRANKS
I don't know how many touchdown passes (Whitehurst) threw last year, ... But I bet you by the end of...
TOMMY BOWDEN
We have access to 1.2 million doses of vaccine,
TOMMY THOMPSON
You wait till you see that Dominican team. You wait till you see Puerto Rico. You wait till you see ...
TOMMY LASORDA
We got the game plan in. All we are doing is polishing it and working on special teams. We had a lit...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE
If I'm a voter, I throw a bumper sticker in the trash. That car, I'm doing to put on my desk.
TOMMY WEST
When a song gets its legs and begins to come to me, this is the euphoric hook that keeps me wanting ...
TOMMY SHAW
Ben was a little different. Sometimes you wonder about homesickness, but he's really handled it well...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE
[Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville, whose team finished No. 2 in the final polls last season, says he co...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE
We'll play when we get there, I guess. It's not our fault that we can't get down there. You'd love i...
TOMMY TUBERVILLE