A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

We don't bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners

Martyrdom, sir, is what these people like; it is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability

Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones, sticks, knives, pistols or bombs without incurring any penalties.

I don't know if there are men on the moon, but if there are they must be using the earth as their lunatic asylum

When the military man approaches, the world locks up its spoons and packs off its womankind