A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.
Mark Twain
Related I'm a fan of Jay-Z, I'mma always be a fan of Jay-Z. T-PAIN Adding Jay was a key decision, JERRY BELL I'm cool with Jay-Z. Jay-Z is genuinely my friend. DRAKE Jay Leno is wonderful and a good friend, but it will always be the Carson show to a lot of people. BURT REYNOLDS Jay (Leno) is wonderful and a good friend, but it will always be the Carson show to a lot of people. BURT REYNOLDS As successful as Jay Leno is, Jay Leno hosting the Today' show wouldn't work. BRUCE DUMONT After the sharp-eyed jay and the roaring lion, peace will come on dove's gentle wing. ERIN HUNTER Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, BEN AFFLECK Jay-Jay just needs to play better when he gets the opportunity - it's that simple. SAM ALLARDYCE Remember when Jay-Z wore a Che Guevara T-shirt? Nobody knew who Che was. Then Jay-Z wears it, and it... LAMAR ODOM [Jay-Z, 29, is accused of attacking Lance] Un ... more than once in the back with a knife. Q-TIP There's Jay-Z, who morphs a certain street hustler's cool and indifference into CEO extravag... MICHAEL PATERNITI Jay has done nothing to lose the job. Now the job is open, and it would be a surprise if Jay won the... BRIAN LEVY I've been on 'Jay Leno,' and everyone likes Jay, but being on that show is a really bori... HENRY ROLLINS The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. ANGIE HARMON I think Jay Leno is fantastic. BRIAN L. ROBERTS Being a professional circuit fisherman, Jay has a unique position to connect with millions of sporti... DAVID HIGGS What are you doing here?" she asked as she slowed from a jog to a walk and placed her hands on her h... KIMBERLY DERTING We are moving back to Jay Street until this problem is worked out. CHARLES SEATON Kevin Smith is a very challenging conversationalist and Jay has many great stories. CARRIE FISHER I hope this is another wonderful experience for Jay. Everybody who works with Jay comes away happy. ... CHUCK WOLFE Jay and I had a lengthy conversation and then I sat back and decided that Jay is the right guy for t... DAVE HEEKE I like Jay Z, Journey, and Kings of Leon. ALEX RODRIGUEZ Jay Cutler, he's a fine quarterback, but I think at times he gets a little nicked up. GALE SAYERS Jay Z and President Bush have a lot in common, that same brash confidence. SAUL WILLIAMS I mean, he's sort of the target reader, Jay. ANNA WINTOUR Do diddle di do, / Poor Jim Jay / Got stuck fast / In Yesterday. WALTER DE LA MARE There was no communication for less than 60 seconds. Jay Street took over in less than a minute. CHARLES SEATON It may have been Jay Davis' best game here. CHUCK AMATO Without music, life would be meaningless. -Jay Vin Foong JAY VIN FOONG It's obvious the guys did a lot of work. And Jay is out there just living his dream, playing quarter... MARC TRESTMAN The best thing Jay-Z ever taught me was patience. RITA ORA I did standup comedy. I opened once for Jay Leno. ALAN COLMES What was that all about?" Jay asked in loud whisper. She still felt like her head was reeling. ... KIMBERLY DERTING I feel very close to Maryann Plunkett and Jay O. Sanders. LAILA ROBINS The prison-industrial complex, poverty, and the school system has more effect on a young black male ... JOHN LEGEND Jay Leno is not a guy who likes change. He eats the same food every day. TED ALLEN I have been a fan of Versace for so long, watching people like Biggie, Puff, Jay-Z. FRENCH MONTANA Jay, who buried his grandfather earlier today, came out and played so well, showed so much heart; it... JASON CALABRESE Biggie Smalls, Jay-Z, Nas, Eminem, Big L, Tupac. That was, like, my top five, generally. KEVIN GATES A good leader does not sit down and wait for results, that's a boss. A leader will share the pain,sw... LEONARDO SANABRIA We've expanded a little bit. We're still not as evolved as we were early on in the first three or fo... MARC TRESTMAN been approached but Jay has not yet confirmed to be on that song. SNOOP DOGG All Jay and I did was build a base and establish the importance. Tiger took it from there. EARL WOODS Jay Z wasn't great when 2pac and Biggie was alive. FUTURE Jay-Z and L.A. Reid are really backing me up right now, CHRISTINA MILIAN The thing that I like that is very popular is a sparkling wine called Jay, by Jordan Vintners out of... JIM LAUGHLIN It is hard to lose a coach like Ryan, because he knows so much and brings a lot to the table. Jay, M... GLEN MILLICAN Bill and Jay, they're our bread and butter as far as rebounding goes. MIKE MCAFEE support Jay Walker 100 percent. The final story hasn't been written yet. JAY WALKER Everybody's always giving Jay credit because he's the smartest guy of the bunch. JEFF NOECHEL I'd like to collaborate with Jay-Z and Mary J. Blige. ROBIN THICKE When the spotless ermine of the judicial robe fell on John Jay, it touched nothing less spotless tha... DANIEL WEBSTER When the spotless ermine of the judicial robe fell on John Jay, it touched nothing less spotless tha... DANIEL WEBSTER Well, Jay, no, he actually doesn't always do that, ... Only when he's awake. CURTIS BROWN Jay has been valuable in the growth of KKZN not only on-air but because of his personal-appearance w... JERRY BELL I'll be having people work every weekend and one of their prime duties will be these parking tickets... GARY PRICE If you don't like how things turn out to be, do something about it. -Jay Vin Foong JAY VIN FOONG What part of Canada are you from, honey?" "THE LEFT PART," said Jay. ADAM REX Mia stayed where she was, distrust plain in her eyes. "I've got tea," Mercurio sighed. "And cak... JAY KRISTOFF The show was great, 'cause it had the energy that you wanted. If Jay-Z is talking about them in his ... DAN HOOTEN And all you other cats throwin' shots at Jigga, | You only get half a bar: fuck y'all niggaz. JAY-Z I'm a hustler, baby; I sell water to a well! JAY-Z I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man! JAY-Z Jay sat down across from Chelsea and took both of her hands in his. The oversized lunchroom was buzz... KIMBERLY DERTING Say, will the falcon, stooping from above,
Smit with her varying plumage, spare the dove?
Admi... ALEXANDER POPE I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it. SEX AND THE CITY For a little more than three quarters, I thought we had stopped Jay County from getting the ball to ... FLAVA SIRK Brandy is one of my favorite vocalists. Jay-Z is my favorite emcee outside of Biggie. RICO LOVE Jay makes a great throw or a great run for a first down. As an old defensive coordinator, I would ha... BOBBY JOHNSON Right now, I'd say John Jay is as good a team as we've seen so far. They are very, very good. BOB STREETEN NBC's priorities are Jimmy Fallon and Jay Leno, and then there's me. CARSON DALY I was telling Jay I wasn't sure he was good enough for the Big Ten. BRUCE WEBER Jay talks about guys being superstars, regardless of how they are out on the court. He always puts J... ED PINCKNEY When no one need you to comeback home..
Keep strong...
Because they are still a home for you..
Your ... JAY Once you start to become the butt of Jay Leno's jokes, ... you know you are in trouble. LARRY LEVITT Tupac, Biggie, Jay. Your usual suspects. These were the people that was played in my household. KENDRICK LAMAR My favorite artists are Kanye West, Jay Z, the Fugees, Lauryn Hill, Destiny's Child. BEBE REXHA Jay can drive the ball and put it out of the yard. He's going to drive in some runs for us. BEN GYURE What, is the jay more precious than the lark
Because his feathers are more beautiful?
Or is th... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Can I see some ID?" "WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON... ADAM REX JAY: No really. Be secure. Pretend I'm a sperm cell. Here. I take the string out of the... hood of m... DAVID FOSTER WALLACE When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing w... A.A. MILNE Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and s... CARTER CROCKER We put Tierra on [Jay]. Then we just told [the girls] to take it one possession at a time and [not t... GEORGE PORCHA People think because I've got some success, I've made it, but in my eyes it's like, '... J. COLE There is no question that Jay has been a winner. It's a tough league to be a coach in and very few p... DAVE HEEKE Sometimes in golf I've got 10,000 people watching me. Cameras are easy. Doing the Jay Leno show ... MATT KUCHAR I respect [Jay-Z's] retirement. People make a big deal about him getting on records and all this stu... MIKE SHINODA I think the players play extremely hard for Jay and that isn't always easy when you are struggling. DAVE HEEKE Heath is not a public kind of guy and this has been rough for him. He has had to go on Oprah Winfrey... TERRY GILLIAM The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer se... ERIC BERNE They get up so high on their threes and they spread you. Jay makes a mockery of everything I try to ... RICK PITINO I thought Jay Greene did a great job of driving the ball and finding open men. His ability to break ... BILLY LANGE I must say, I've been in the studio with Jay Z, dog... I thought the freestyle thing was a myth.... TRAVIS SCOTT A week later, President Bush said his administration's response to Katrina was unacceptable. Then he... JAY LENO No rapper in the world from Jay-Z to Tupac to Biggie has 100 percent love on everything they do. J. COLE We could not stop (Vanderbilt quarterback Jay Cutler) on third down. I'm the defensive coordinator, ... ED ORGERON Jay always wants to get better. You like to see that in a young kid. He's always offering to do extr... ALONZO POWELL Beyonce is a beautiful, elegant woman who is also a wonderful dancer. And her voice is sublime. Just... AZZEDINE ALAIA
More Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. MARK TWAIN My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha... MARK TWAIN The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. MARK TWAIN India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ... MARK TWAIN Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig... MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. MARK TWAIN In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. MARK TWAIN Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs... MARK TWAIN But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one... MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. MARK TWAIN The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti... MARK TWAIN It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil. MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. MARK TWAIN Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. MARK TWAIN There are lies, damned lies and statistics. MARK TWAIN Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. MARK TWAIN Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside... MARK TWAIN Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one. MARK TWAIN 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba... MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started. MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. MARK TWAIN Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. MARK TWAIN If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half. MARK TWAIN What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ... MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B... MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu... MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly... MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec... MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes... MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w... MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff... MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated. MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman. MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ... MARK TWAIN A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t... MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st... MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi... MARK TWAIN Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to... MARK TWAIN We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ... MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people... MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find... MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood... MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out. MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol... MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than... MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst... MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. MARK TWAIN All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh... MARK TWAIN To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ... MARK TWAIN Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. MARK TWAIN It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal... MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help. MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting... MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do. MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse... MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ... MARK TWAIN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. MARK TWAIN The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha... MARK TWAIN Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances" MARK TWAIN Distance lends enchantment to the view MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome. MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far MARK TWAIN To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble. MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it... MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. MARK TWAIN When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many... MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you. MARK TWAIN I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin... MARK TWAIN Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would... MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati... MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material... MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no... MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people. MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot... MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat... MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th... MARK TWAIN Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,... MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t... MARK TWAIN Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind. MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him. MARK TWAIN O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th... MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,... MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to... MARK TWAIN I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas... MARK TWAIN Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich... MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i... MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us... MARK TWAIN Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. MARK TWAIN Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. MARK TWAIN I do not like work even when someone else does it. MARK TWAIN Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig... MARK TWAIN Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. MARK TWAIN Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time. MARK TWAIN No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. MARK TWAIN We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th... MARK TWAIN Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ... MARK TWAIN When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend. MARK TWAIN Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know. MARK TWAIN Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. MARK TWAIN We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum... MARK TWAIN There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. MARK TWAIN I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he... MARK TWAIN There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were... MARK TWAIN People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases. MARK TWAIN My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ... MARK TWAIN When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te... MARK TWAIN In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities. MARK TWAIN Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evils. MARK TWAIN His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine. MARK TWAIN Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures... MARK TWAIN All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ... MARK TWAIN Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini... MARK TWAIN We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m... MARK TWAIN There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence. MARK TWAIN It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech... MARK TWAIN There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. MARK TWAIN War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no... MARK TWAIN There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe... MARK TWAIN To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his... MARK TWAIN One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. MARK TWAIN A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught. MARK TWAIN A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. MARK TWAIN I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b... MARK TWAIN The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. MARK TWAIN A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati... MARK TWAIN Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe... MARK TWAIN Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million. MARK TWAIN It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. MARK TWAIN Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar... MARK TWAIN Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro... MARK TWAIN Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ... MARK TWAIN I've never let my school interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al... MARK TWAIN Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect). MARK TWAIN If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di... MARK TWAIN A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going... MARK TWAIN Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment... MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca... MARK TWAIN If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r... MARK TWAIN The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a... MARK TWAIN Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its... MARK TWAIN The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. MARK TWAIN Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall... MARK TWAIN If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. MARK TWAIN ′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. MARK TWAIN I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read. MARK TWAIN Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut... MARK TWAIN Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. MARK TWAIN A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. MARK TWAIN All right, then, I'll go to hell. MARK TWAIN The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. MARK TWAIN Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. MARK TWAIN If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. MARK TWAIN To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ... MARK TWAIN Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. MARK TWAIN Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. MARK TWAIN Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. MARK TWAIN I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. MARK TWAIN If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. MARK TWAIN