A man's only as old as the woman he feels.


Groucho Marx

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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX
The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
This is too much reality for a Friday.
AS GOOD AS IT GETS
You're only as old as the woman you feel.
PETER STRINGFELLOW
A man is as old as he feels himself to be.
ENGLISH PROVERB
Only fools wait, and only tools bait.
CRE
There are approximately two trillion cells in the human body. You are never alone, there are always ...
DWIGHT W. HAYES
In Cloud computing the difference between a dark cloud and a cloud with a silver lining, is the part...
RAJAT MOHAN
I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE
Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW
A lot of teenagers write to me and say "I want to write a book. I want to get published." And those ...
MAUREEN JOHNSON
The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH
A man's as old as he's feeling. A woman as old as she looks.
MORTIMER COLLINS
A man's as old as he's feeling. A woman as old as she looks.
MORTIMER COLLINS
Simon Bolivar, when history led him - and as Karl Marx said, men can make history, but only as far a...
HUGO CHAVEZ
Death is not scary enough and not so sweet life of the human foot leaves gentility.
IMAM ALI (AS)
Would you want you as a friend?
PETER STROPLE
It should not be surprised by seeing in our weird world that the people for enjoying own bread can a...
ANUJ SOMANY
Everyone out there is using you for their entertainment and what you mostly need is to be entertainm...
SUPERNA BATHEJA
Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.
E. W. HOWE
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast
EDGAR WATSON HOWE
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE
remember an old mans ballsack is like christmas tree ornaments, they are only there for decoration.
NEGRO FRIJOLES
And if you can’t shape your life the way you want, at least try as much as you can not to degrade ...
CONSTANTINOS P. CAVAFIS
In the Roman commonwealth, even on the conversion of the monarchy into a republic, the old was as fa...
THEODOR MOMMSEN
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX
In the end, I think you really only get as far as you're allowed to get.
GAYLE GARDNER
A human being feels able and competent only so long as he is permitted to contribute as much as, or ...
ELBERT HUBBARD
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
Every woman feels she is too old and has missed the boat.
FELICITY KENDAL
As far as R&B, I listen to a lot of old school like the Temptations and Chris Brown.
JACOB LATIMORE
As far as we are concerned, we Syria have not changed.
BASHAR AL-ASSAD
As far as the style, I was fascinated by surrealism.
MARK MOTHERSBAUGH
As far as I know, I have no pride of opinion.
ALBERT J. NOCK
Nothing trumps honesty, as far as I'm concerned.
DAVID KOECHNER
I am sad, sad as a circus-lioness, sad as an eagle without wings, sad as a violin with only one stri...
JEAN RHYS
I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD
The story of a passionate woman in a stale marriage is as old as Helen of Troy.
G. WILLOW WILSON
The thing that made Groucho special was the way he used his body parts. He also had a wicked tongue....
SIDNEY SHELDON
Every Supermen can only fly if he has a special woman as his everlasting Kryptonite.
FRANCESCO NICHOLAS CECE
As far as our fans are concerned, I'm the only one who counts; along with my teammates, obviousl...
ALESSANDRO DEL PIERO
An old mans staffe is the rapper of deaths doore.
GEORGE HERBERT
Only as far as a man is happily married to himself is he fit for married life and family life in gen...
NOVALIS
I know how it feels to be a woman because I am a woman. And I won't be classified as just a man.
PETE TOWNSHEND
A beautiful woman can be painted as a totem only; not as a woman, but as a Madonna, a queen, a sphin...
SAUL STEINBERG
An old wise mans shaddow is better then a young buzzards sword.
GEORGE HERBERT
As far as I'm concerned, there is no subject that's off the table.
GARRY TRUDEAU
As far as festivals, nothing tops Cannes.
SASHA LANE
A BMW can't take you as far as a diploma.
JOYCE MEYER
Reach for it. Push yourself as far as you can.
CHRISTA MCAULIFFE
Television's going, as far as I'm concerned, downhill, and I'm an anachronism.
DICK VAN DYKE
Wearing corsets all the time was completely incapacitating, as far as digestion goes.
HELENA BONHAM CARTER
As far as the customer is concerned, the interface is the product.
JEF RASKIN
As far as music, Louis Armstrong is one of my heroes.
JON BATISTE
As far as natural ability, I was always athletic.
TROY BROWN
That my philosophy of life is, as far as possible, one of enjoyment. I'm not nihilistic.
ALEXANDER MCCALL SMITH
Fame was not at all what it was cracked up to be, as far as I was concerned.
DAVE MADDEN
I am sure that, on the one hand, the Rothschilds appreciate the merits of Marx, and that on the othe...
MIKHAIL BAKUNIN
Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.
JOSEPH JOUBERT
I know how it feels to be a woman because I am a woman. And I won't be classified as just a man.
PETE TOWNSHEND
What passes as a woman's intuition, is usually nothing more than a mans transparency.
UNKNOWN
We must strive to let go our life as we planned,so as to have life we are destined for & that comes ...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA
The surrounding nature is the best erudite master to teach us the basics of living.
ANUJ SOMANY
Success is not a journey, it's a destination called satisfaction.
ANUJ SOMANY
Huysmans takes the old trope of moon-as-woman and replaces its romantic connotations with decadent o...
CHARLES BERNHEIMER
As you know, all women at all ages do not feel their ages anymore. The young girl feels older, and t...
REEM ACRA
“Only as a warrior can one withstand the path of knowledge. A warrior cannot complain or regret an...
CARLOS CASTANEDA
As far as working out, I know exactly what I'm doing.
EVANDER HOLYFIELD
As far as groupies, I never saw any of them.
DAVY JONES
As far as my relationship with President Putin is concerned, it's fine.
GERHARD SCHRODER
The point, as Marx saw it, is that dreams never come true.
HANNAH ARENDT
He's such a good actor and he loves the Groucho character so much he made a study of him.
ARTHUR MARX
The problems starts when he throws a number of pitches. As long as we minimize his pitches, he says ...
DUSTY BAKER
History is replete with blunders written by sycophants.
TOMICHAN MATHEIKAL
Just as Karl Marx did not attribute what he saw as the detrimental effects of a market economy to th...
THOMAS SOWELL
When I admitted I needed to grow old as a woman, it was a relief.
CANDIS CAYNE
A rich mans dream comes true only through a poor man.
KOWSALAPATHY
The hardest thing is the idea. Ideas come from somewhere but as far as we know they come from nowher...
IAN HUNTER
You're only as old as your boy toy...
VANESSA KINCAID
The most eloquent eulogy of capitalism was made by its greatest enemy. Marx is only anti-capitalist ...
ALBERT CAMUS
A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman as bad as she dares.
ELBERT HUBBARD
Careful old-timer, your age is showing.”
“Hey, I’m only thirty-two. I’m in my prime, wo...
ANNE RAINEY
(My father) he would be surprised to know he was still popular today, ... He told me, when he was qu...
ARTHUR MARX
As far as sustaining our popularity, I believe we can.
VINCE MCMAHON
In Paris, you're as far as possible from the land of pleasant smiles.
KANYE WEST
As far as my journal, I want to share tour life with my fans.
NATALIE GULBIS
We've actually eliminated Type II polio in the world, at least as far as we can tell.
SETH BERKLEY
Everyone imposes his own system as far as his army can reach.
JOSEPH STALIN
As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther.
J. P. MORGAN
Go as far as you can see; when you get there you'll be able to see farther.
THOMAS CARLYLE
What we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do. There are people we trust b...
STEPHEN R. COVEY
As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland.
DONALD TRUMP
You know, if it weren't for these fans, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did.
ADAM LAMBERT
As far as my notoriety or whatever, I haven't been the star of a hit film.
ALESSANDRO NIVOLA

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX
How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX
I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX
Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
[When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX
I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX
Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX
And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX
Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX
Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX
I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX
I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX