A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby

Bathroom Child Father Invariably Learns Precisely Quickly When

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A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

BathroomCertainChild

The more you invest in that child, the more you're not going to let some CD tell your child how to curse and how to say the word n----- is an accepted word -- so hip to use n----- but you can't even spell it.

When you become senile, you won't know it.

If my father ever told me that, ... I'd tear the corner off a piece of paper and say, 'There you are, Dad. Go ahead. Wail me.'

CornerFatherPaper

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get.

CheckChildDentist