The more you invest in that child, the more you're not going to let some CD tell your child how to curse and how to say the word n----- is an accepted word -- so hip to use n----- but you can't even spell it.

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get.

That's not my daughter.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

When I was a child, I was living in the housing projects of Philadelphia. I didn't even have a Christmas tree.

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck -- and, of course, courage.