A young comic, if he's any good, can easily get on 'Carson' or 'Griffin' or 'Dinah Shore,' because they want to say the same thing, that they discovered the new talent.

I've been on the 'Tonight Show' a million times, and I'd be embarrassed to do the same thing more than once.

Every city you go to has television and radio talk shows that are dying to give young comics a showcase. They all want to be able to say that so-and-so started here, got his first break on this show.

I met Elvis first in Las Vegas. I think I was appearing with Tom Jones and he came backstage to say hello to Tom or we went to his dressing room to say hello.

Old is when people compliment your alligator shoes, and you're not wearing any.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.