All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.


Woody Allen

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All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
ERMA BOMBECK
Be grateful for every moment and every breath.
TERESA COLLINS
I definitely have a little Woody Allen inside of me. That is true.
AUTRE NE VEUT
It seems that our politicians see the world in black and white, so why not our artists? Did Woody Al...
ALEXANDER PAYNE
Our life is a series of moments. Let them all go. Moments. All gathering towards this one.
NOW IS GOOD
I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI
It was kind of scary because working with Woody Allen becomes sort of a big deal in your mind. He di...
RADHA MITCHELL
All of us aspire to give our children something more, leave a country to our children that is a bett...
BYRON DORGAN
I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone... I'm just saying that I'm one-of-a-kind.
C LIONG
Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives; the rest is filler.
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
'The Butler' has virtually nothing in common with its source material, the life of White Hou...
BEN SHAPIRO
Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us all without words?
MARCEL MARCEAU
people who matter in our lives stay with us, haunting our most ordinary moments. They’re with us i...
CHRISTINA BAKER KLINE
There is a destiny that makes us brothers, No one goes his way alone; All that we send into the live...
EDWIN MARKHAM
One of the aspects of White Castle that makes us unique is we like to have fun with our menu and our...
JAMIE RICHARDSON
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It'...
DAVID LETTERMAN
You could be taking a course on French or tai chi instead, but looking into generosity, ethics and w...
COLBY KAVANAGH
the deceased don’t want you to forget about them. They just want you to move past it; not to dwell...
JUSTIN PYFROM
Ultimately, our goal is for children and adults to understand that all of us have something meaningf...
DAVE ANDERSON
Woody Allen is a great dramatist and a great comedian.
CATE BLANCHETT
You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope...
RONALD REAGAN
The mightiest power of death is not that it can make people die, but that it can make the people you...
FREDRIK BACKMAN
Closed eyes, heart not beating, but a living love.
AVIS COREA
Like a deep sad note
played beneath the ocean
waving through the orb
the memories of ...
PAWAN MISHRA
Ignorance breeds fear and hatred.
KRISTIN CAST
None of us is interested in taking the thrill out of our roller coaster or any other fun ride that w...
ED MARKEY
Nothing in this world is permanent but of course, change. At some point in our lives, we will encoun...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA
All of us have to recognize that we owe our children more than we have been giving them.
HILLARY CLINTON
Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, w...
RAINER MARIA RILKE
I hate Woody Allen physically, I dislike that kind of man.
ORSON WELLES
But nothing beats a Woody Allen film on a Sunday night, with a glass of wine and some leftovers.
KATE FLEETWOOD
For us, it's like you just built a new house, and you're leaving a house that never quite fit. And w...
PRINCIPAL MARY MCCONNELL
All of us, at certain moments of our lives, need to take advice and to receive help from other peopl...
ALEXIS CARREL
We all have three sides. We show one when we're with our friends and another when around our family....
KAYLA RAE
There is a certain part of all of us that lives outside of time. Perhaps we become aware of our age ...
MILAN KUNDERA
Our lives are just a series of moments. Past moments are unchangeable, future moments are unknowable...
JIM GENOVESE
...We pray together, we are afraid together, and then we go to sleep. Even if Satan came into the ho...
VICTOR HUGO
We don't have the family organization the way we used to. My father lives with us because we have th...
DIXIE CARTER
It is not that the child lives in a world of imagination, but that the child within us survives and ...
CESARE PAVESE
With his unique combination of charm and courage, George transformed our city, our nation and our wo...
DOUGLAS ELLIOTT
The music we're going to hear at the Opry House on Jan. 21 is music all of us need in our lives,
BILL PURCELL
The process of filmmaking is very musical, you get into the rhythm and the rhythmics of how someone ...
CHARLOTTE RAMPLING
Woody Allen said that 95% of history is explained as a man trying to impress a woman. And that's...
MITT ROMNEY
What brings a real and lasting joy is our relationships with God, and our love for His other childre...
LINDSEY STIRLING
I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories...
ROMAN COPPOLA
At some point in our lives, we will encounter moments that will make the world seem to go upside dow...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA
At some point in our lives, we will encounter moments that will make everything seem to go upside do...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA
Many of us live near the Hudson River. It's a thread that runs through our lives. By keeping the riv...
ANDY BICKING
My early prose style - this is so embarrassing - was sort of a suburban, Presbyterian knockoff of Wo...
JOHN HUGHES
There is a destiny That makes us brothers: None goes his way alone: All that we send into the lives ...
EDWIN MARKHAM
I have a Woody Allen Jewish attitude to life: that it's all going to be disastrous. That it hasn...
ANTONY SHER
Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's a...
DAVID LETTERMAN
We don't need to have just one favorite. We keep adding favorites. Our favorite book is always the b...
LLOYD ALEXANDER
Courage is what preserves our liberty, safety, life, and our homes and parents, our country and chil...
TITUS MACCIUS PLAUTUS
Courage is what preserves our liberty, safety, life, and our homes and parents, our country and chil...
PLAUTUS
Our faith comes in moments... yet there is a depth in those brief moments which constrains us to asc...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
We don't have the family organization the way we used to. My father lives with us because we hav...
DIXIE CARTER
After working with Woody Allen, sharing screen space with De Niro was a dream come true.
ANUPAM KHER
Rarely if ever, moments come that are so defining in our lives. The years are glutted with benign ma...
JOEL T. MCGRATH
Some of us may just, in one-on-one conversations with our family, with our friends, over the back fe...
PATRICIA IRELAND
Who are you, Woody Allen?
JOY BEHAR
Death is tough for the people left behind on earth.
PRATEEKSHA MALIK
People in the real world always say, when something terrible happens, that the sadness and loss and ...
FREDRIK BACKMAN
When his wife was at his side, she was also in front of him, marking out the horizon of his life. No...
MILAN KUNDERA
We must have the courage to allow a little disorder in our lives.
BEN WEININGER
On matters of race, South Carolina has a tough history. We all know that. Many of us have seen it in...
NIKKI HALEY
Perhaps we have been misguided into taking too much responsibility from our children, leaving them t...
HELEN HAYS
When we were children, we were told that we have a motherland, and that motherland was Spain. Howeve...
HUGO CHAVEZ
There is a destiny which makes us brothers; none goes his way alone. All that we send into the lives...
EDWIN MARKHAM
If we are paying attention to our lives, we'll recognise those defining moments. The challenge f...
ROBIN S. SHARMA
Be careful of relying on the opinion of others, these are the same people that like liver.
NANETTE L. AVERY
“Obstacles are put in our way, not to stop us, but gives us a challenges to gain courage and stren...
TOM BAKER AKA THE PONDERING MAN
I want to take all our best moments, put them in a jar, and take them out like cookies and savor eac...
CRYSTAL WOODS
All of us, at certain moments of our lives, need to take advice and to receive help from other peopl...
ALEXIS CARREL
Increasingly, the girl child is becoming an endangered specie as
pedophiles’ continue to roam...
OCHE OTORKPA
Any faith that does not command the one who holds it is not a real belief; it is a pseudo belief onl...
A.W. TOZER
Life is made of millions of moments, but we live only one of these moments at a time. As we begin to...
TRINIDAD HUNT
Erotic longing is really a longing to merge with something greater than oneself. For every kind of l...
JULIANNE DAVIDOW
I think the saddest moments in life have humor in them. I have a memory of coming home from a funera...
ZACH BRAFF
All of life is a test and we all have our challenges to meet.
MARJORY SHEBA
Do you believe in spirits? Or ghosts?...Yes, I do. I believe in ghosts....They're the ones who haunt...
CHRISTINA BAKER KLINE
No one comes into our house and pushes us around.
DAN DEVINE
It is all too evident that our nation, and the governments of other countries, require all the help ...
JIM SENSENBRENNER
Even if it is only for a matter of moments, because those moments bring with them a Love so intense ...
PAULO COELHO
All white-collar work is project work. The single salient fact that touches all of our lives is that...
TOM PETERS
Your principal motive on a movie set is to get the film made, but on a Woody Allen set, there's ...
REBECCA HALL
Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to ...
JOHN GROGAN
How should we be able to forget those myths that are at the beginning of all peoples, the myths abou...
RAINER MARIA RILKE
The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children...
ALBERT EINSTEIN
We hope a lot of people can join us in this collaborative effort to improve the lives of children in...
CARRIE ZERAFA
It'll be a very Woody Allen kind of film covering three layers of characters: the Indians from India...
HARISH DAYANI
People wonder if it’s possible to meet a person, or to just read their name out loud for the first...
C. JOYBELL C.
Tis this desire of bending all things to our own purposes which turns them into confusion and is the...
SARAH FIELDING
By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes.
E.M. FORSTER
If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE
We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory.
GEORGES DUHAMEL
Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose ...
DR. JAMES DOBSON
Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose ...
JAMES DOBSON
Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose ...
DR. JAMES C. DOBSON
The inscription on his gravestone had felt so wholly insufficient the moment she saw it. Just a name...
STUART NADLER

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN
sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN
If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN
The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN
The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN
A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN
My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN
It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN
Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN
More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN
Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN
A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN
The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN
My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN
Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN
The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN
My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN
For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN
We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN
The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN
Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN
A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN
Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN
My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN
I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN
Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN
Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
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If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
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I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
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Subjectivity is objective.
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The most expensive sex is free sex
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These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
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You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
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This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
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The heart wants what it wants.
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We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
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Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
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My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
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