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As I've explained to my wife many times, you have to kill your wife or mistress to get on the front page of the papers.


Julian Barnes

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England is my wife, America my mistress. It is very good sometimes to get away from one's wife.
CEDRIC HARDWICKE England is my wife, America my mistress. It is very good sometimes to get away from one's wife.
CEDRIC HARDWICKE Don’t praise your wife or neighbour’s wife in front of your neighbor.
VIKRANT PARSAI How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine."
The Q...
LEWIS CARROLL The sea is my mistress, but you are my wife.
ANTHONY T. HINCKS Did you kill your wife?
BARBARA WALTERS MySpace is my wife... Facebook is my mistress.
PAULO COELHO You never expect someone to be fatally shot on your front lawn. My wife says it may be time to move.
DAVID SAGE Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be...
GARY F EVANS... Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night wi...
ANTON CHEKHOV Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night wi...
ANTON CHEKHOV How many times would you say you lied under oath since your wife was murdered on May 4, 2001 ?
ERIC DUBIN I've never used one word of profanity in front of my wife, or my daughter, or my granddaughter.....
TOMMY LASORDA After you play husband and wife on camera multiple times, it becomes easy to be husband and wife off...
AMY YASBECK My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
HENNY YOUNGMAN My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
SAM LEVENSON My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
HENRY YOUNGMAN The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m...
ANDREW TO Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt...
ANDREW TO Bank of China's results were quite good; double-digit growth can be taken as good results for a bank...
ANDREW TO The index tried to challenge 18,000 but failed, so that triggered profit taking. Tokyo's slide also ...
ANDREW TO Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate...
ANDREW TO We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ...
ANDREW TO Some investors have returned to pick up the stock at bargain prices.
ANDREW TO I think the take-up for the placement is not too good and other property developers may be discourag...
ANDREW TO We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future.
ANDREW TO I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea...
ANDREW TO Adrenaline wants to kill you...
DEYTH BANGER The love you get, is equal to the love you give.
BEN OAK As God commands us men to teach your wife, to teach your children - to be the spiritual leader of yo...
RAFAEL CRUZ To be, or not to be, that is the question.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Congratulations, to the people which made gotham series, still need some more and extra work!
DEYTH BANGER To have the cognitive abilities to do research and development is vital to a forever expanding world...
GARY F EVANS... The first and foremost human right or fundamental right is the right to exist.
APURVA GAGLANI If we ever put research into what the subconscious is we could probably come to the conclusion that ...
GARY F EVANS... i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL I have sons, and they have never said the word hell in front of me or my wife. That's the truth.
DANNY AIELLO Papers filed by my wife in our divorce proceeding became public and grossly misrepresented many aspe...
JACK WELCH Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the n...
ANTON CHEKHOV You don't particularly want to stay close to your ex-wife. Or why would she be your ex-wife?
IAN MCSHANE I timed my previous wife's pregnancy to the moment to have my son born on Bob Dylan's 50th b...
CHARLIE TROTTER To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY You don't have to learn much out of books, it's like if you want to learn about cows, you go milk on...
HARPER LEE You can't really get to know a person until you get in their shoes and walk around in them.
HARPER LEE To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don't be.
GOLDA MEIR I have sons, and they have never said the word hell in front of me or my wife. That's the truth.
DANNY AIELLO Not everyone has the time to be normal.
LJUPKA CVETANOVA To be or not to be. That's not really a question.
JEAN-LUC GODARD I have a dream, I have a vision, I have a mission, I have to do something, I will do this at this ti...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I always wondered if you clone your wife and have the cloned wife on the moon and the real wife down...
LUIS GUZMAN Choose your wife as you wish your children to be.
PROVERB Intelligence is the wife, imagination is the mistress, memory is the servant.
VICTOR HUGO I live my life progressing for nothing else but the best.
JONATHAN ANTHONY BURKETT I am his mistress. His work is his wife.
MARION JAVITS The best kind of kinky sex is to have kinky sex with your wife or husband, the person you love.
FRANK LANGELLA The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Behold your new mistress, my wife," he pronounced, "and know that when she
bids you, I have bid...
JUDITH MCNAUGHT Andrea Tafi was the winner of the first professional bike race my wife and I ever saw in 1997 and so...
GREAT BRITAIN Too easy to get = Just as easy to forget.
MANDY HALE Dare to follow your own paths.
Dare to be yourself.
Dare to be different.
LAILAH GIFTYAKITA My wife always wanted a front porch.
CRAIG DOUGLASS O, the sheer magnificence of words that come together like waves upon a beach, each telling its own ...
JOHN M SHEEHAN The saying sell all your belongings & give to the poor simply means "Redirect your mind to the verit...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Life can only be understood looking backward. It must be lived forward.
ERIC ROTH You're afraid of getting hurt like I'm afraid to die. It doesn't mean I'm not going to live every da...
VI KEELAND Wesley Rush doesn't chase girls, but I'm chasing you.
KODY KEPLINGER I turn and kick with the first one and feel myself being lifted and thrown towards the beach. It's l...
MARK SMITH What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough ...
DOUGLAS ADAMS One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit o...
DOUGLAS ADAMS I immediately said to myself Ive got to do something, ... Ive got to help as many as I can. I am not...
AMY COLLINS Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it?...
ERNEST HEMINGWAY This is the way to kill a wife; with kindness.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE A kiss of a mistress is what a wife should never see.
ANTHONY T. HINCKS The game is very addictive. You can't overwork your wife or help or they might quit. You have to hav...
CHRISTOPHER MURRAY In the theological academy where my husband studied, an old teacher usually told to his students: "G...
SVETLANA SHCHEDRINA | LUCKYOPTIMIST Judge not lest ye be judged.
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MATTHEW The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surpr...
C.S. LEWIS Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ...
FEREIDOON YAZDI As a techdomme I love to take control of your digital life, your PC and of course that will have REA...
MISTRESS HARLEY The customer is always wrong.
MISTRESS HARLEY Your ears love to hear, so speak to it
SOTONYE ANGA Give your ears to your wife and you will have peace
SOTONYE ANGA Honey, tonight am all yours. You can eat me for dinner
SOTONYE ANGA That first scream, my lord, was indeed your daughter, my wife, and if you kill me, your grandchild w...
DEEANNE GIST Editor:"Donation To Penn State to Field Div-I Hockey Teams,” 9.18.10: Athletics play a role in the...
GENE DETROYER I want to get to the moon. I want to go to Mars.
DAVID MACKAY If you're at home, you have so many other things you could be doing. Who knows? Your wife could ask ...
BRUCE BURNS My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was s...
WINSTON CHURCHILL If you treat your children at home in the same way you treat your animals in the lab, your wife will...
ABRAHAM MASLOW Why does mistress rhyme with mistrust and wife rhyme with life?
KEN O. ELDIB When a man takes a mistress, he doesn't turn around and divorce his wife.
ARTHUR GOLDEN A wife who discomforts you with truth is better than a mistress who massages you with lies.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO I remember driving home one evening while they were reviewing the papers on the radio. One of the ar...
RORY BREMNER Your wife is always right. Very simple. I think I'm going to get it tattooed on my forehead.
HUGH JACKMAN Jim, I'm delighted to be here as your wife. I'm very proud of you.
BARBRA STREISAND If I was your wife Sir, I'd poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I'd let you!
SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL My closest adviser is my wife. It's nice to have one of the smartest people in business as your ...
DAVE GOLDBERG My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you
SOCRATES How many times have I failed before? How many times have I stood here like this, in front of my own ...
CHARLES YU My advice to a new husband is nothing more than 'husbands, love your wives.' And 'love y...
J. I. PACKER

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JULIAN BARNES WHORES.
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JULIAN BARNES History is:

+ the lies of the victors

+ the self-delusions of the defea...
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BRIAN BARNES Somebody has got to win,
BRIAN BARNES Amatus waited a long time, but at last he broke the silence.
"There is much I don't understand....
JOHN BARNES ... once you were in, they put a note in your file that said you were in therapy, and all your teach...
JOHN BARNES We have been doing golf packaging for about 15 years. It's taken awhile to cultivate our business, b...
BOB BARNES As we move forward with this technology, we should expect to see costs go down and roller capabiliti...
BOB BARNES I knew instantly he was the right choice.
BOB BARNES We are excited to be in the Austin market. We think this is a healthy long-term addition for our ban...
BOB BARNES The 4A side has a lot of parity. The backdoor guys will mean everything. That's where the tournament...
BRENT BARNES Almost every year, it's what happens in the consolations that determines the eventual team champion....
BRENT BARNES We didn't wrestle as well as we could have. But this is a good tournament, good competition.
BRENT BARNES If we're going to make a run at Battle Ground, we're going to need all our guys stepping up Saturday...
BRENT BARNES We had a good run in the second quarter, but they got a breakaway at the buzzer.
BILLY BARNES We were OK once we started getting the ball inside.
BILLY BARNES It gives them more incentive to come up here and drive legally without being a citizen.
BILLY BARNES Consistency and quality of coaching has been a big part of our success.
BILLY BARNES I don't know if you've noticed it. But Duchamp was magnificent.
ROBERT BARNES Television is the first truly democratic culture, the first culture available to everybody and enti...
CLIVE BARNES The mainstream media may have trouble resisting the temptation to declare that Karl Rove has been de...
FRED BARNES What is a ruin but time easing itself of endurance?
DJUNA BARNES There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.
LEONARD BARNES I LIKE ads. It's not that we don't like ads, we just don't like ads when they are out of place.
BILL BARNES And while the wicket falls behind Her steps, I thought if I could find A wife I need not blush...
WILLIAM BARNES Now voe me I can zing on my business abrode: Though the storm do beat down on my poll, There's...
WILLIAM BARNES Georgia is in an enviable position today, but we can't rest on our laurels.
ROY BARNES Can I ask you something personal?”

Six inches but I tell everyone eight.
JOHN BARNES