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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.


Woody Allen

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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill
ROLAND SMITH I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ...
MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX It's so hard to figure out what's going on in biological systems. You just can't see the...
EREZ LIEBERMAN AIDEN Your principal motive on a movie set is to get the film made, but on a Woody Allen set, there's ...
REBECCA HALL Woody Allen said that 95% of history is explained as a man trying to impress a woman. And that's...
MITT ROMNEY Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name.
LUCAN I have a wife, I have sons: all of them hostages given to fate.
LUCAN Emotions are messy and hard to figure out. Hard to know where you start and the next person stops. E...
SPIKE JONZE I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories...
ROMAN COPPOLA Working with Woody Allen is like filming Howard Hughes's will. It's a very mysterious and st...
MICHAEL O'DONOGHUE Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It'...
DAVID LETTERMAN New York in a way functions as another character within the story, as it does within most of Woody A...
RADHA MITCHELL I'm still a big 'Grey's Anatomy' fan.
BROOKE ELLIOTT I used to watch 'Grey's Anatomy' pretty religiously.
ERINN HAYES About f-f-ace!" she said to the horse, flailing with her boots. "Into the barn, please. It's time fo...
PETER LERANGIS You see?" Damien leaned over his desk and spread out half a dozen charcoal sketches. "These are only...
RICK RIORDAN It's really hard to figure out what they need to know. And that's parenting, in general. It&...
JOHN ROSS BOWIE I prefer to live in the country where it's quiet. Woody Allen movies there are dubbed into Itali...
PATRICIA HIGHSMITH There are not many A-list directors who get to make the movies they want to make. I know two: Woody ...
MARTIN LANDAU 'Ernest Borgnine' is sort of my version of Woody Allen's 'Purple Rose Of Cairo' ...
JOHN GRANT I love 'Husbands and Wives,' Woody Allen's movie. It's like one of my all-time favor...
ZOE LISTER-JONES I've got a few ideas," (Amy) admitted. "But I don't know where we're going in the long term. I mean ...
RICK RIORDAN I was in Woody Allen's Stardust Memories in 1980. It was only a bit part and I didn't get to...
SHARON STONE But I think it's hard for me to only put out one record a year. Because I get too antsy. But it&...
TY SEGALL I'm a big fan of 'Woody Allen' movies, so I like all the actresses in his movies like &#...
EMILY PERKINS Being home schooled is awesome because you can make your own schedule, so as far as time management,...
JASON DOLLEY Alas, I think I am becoming a god.
TITUS Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.
T. J. MILLER I would direct TV. That's a little different. It's more of a contained world as a director. ...
CHERYL HINES It was tough trying to figure out how to put on all the women's clothes.
BARRY WATSON I always find Victoria's Secret models a bit weird.
EDIE CAMPBELL Allen Ginsberg is a tremendous warrior as time goes by. He's a warrior first and a poet second.
KEN KESEY A journalist can make or break a case, in a way, because they can figure out things the police can&#...
VICKY MCCLURE I talk as I sketch, too, in order to keep their minds off what I'm doing so I'll get the mos...
NORMAN ROCKWELL Every film is a crapshoot. It's a mystery when a movie comes together. I've never been able ...
ELISABETH SHUE I said to the almond tree, 'Friend, speak to me of God,' and the almond tree blossomed.
NIKOS KAZANTZAKIS It's hard enough to be a middle-school kid, because you're dealing with so many facets of yo...
RICK RIORDAN My identity is linked to my grandmother, who's pure Filipino, as pure as you can probably get. A...
JESSICA HAGEDORN I took an acting class with Louise Lasser, Woody Allen's first wife and co-star in many movies. ...
GARY SHTEYNGART So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flex...
TIM VINE We could definitely make a flying car - but that's not the hard part. The hard part is, how do y...
ELON MUSK If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
SALMAN RUSHDIE It's very juicy to twirl your mustache and figure out why people do the horrible things that the...
ZELJKO IVANEK When we created 'Goodness Gracious Me,' it was quoting 'Python' and Woody Allen line...
SANJEEV BHASKAR It seems that our politicians see the world in black and white, so why not our artists? Did Woody Al...
ALEXANDER PAYNE Don't have to see," the pilot grunted. "Olga knows the way."
"Funny name for an aircraft...
GORDON KORMAN I always write with music. It takes me a while to figure out the right piece of music for what I'...
KATE DICAMILLO It is our responsibility to find God in someone who is different from us. I think that God basically...
BRUCE FEILER If a fan comes up and it is a middle-aged lady, it is probably from 'Prime'; if it is a youn...
BRYAN GREENBERG It's hard when you're doing a film based on a true story to really figure out what all those...
JAMES FRANCO Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
SENECA Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
SENECA We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
SENECA Just as I shall select my ship when I am about to go on a voyage, or my house when I propose to take...
SENECA Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.
SENECA Luck is where opportunity meets preparation.
SENECA Friendship always benefits; love sometimes injures.
SENECA It's very hard to write a song alone. It's only by jamming that you can get a song together.
MAURICE GIBB Children, a lot of times, can't make their parents wrong because they have to live with them, be...
LANA PARRILLA I have a Woody Allen Jewish attitude to life: that it's all going to be disastrous. That it hasn...
ANTONY SHER Being home schooled is awesome because you can make your own schedule, so as far as time management,...
JASON DOLLEY I'm a huge Woody Allen fan. Good movie, bad movie, it doesn't matter - I just like his movie...
SEAN PENN I guess why the Ocean's films are hard for me is because on the one hand you have to make sure t...
STEVEN SODERBERGH If kids and teenagers can get into a band, it's probably not because they think it's brainy.
EZRA KOENIG I think 'Disney Infinity' is exciting. It's hard to even call it a video game, because i...
JOHN LASSETER When I was a child, kids used to make fun of me because I was blind. But I just became more curious,...
STEVIE WONDER I think in L.A., in terms of the music scene, it's a really strange place. It's really hard ...
ALEKSA PALLADINO I'm proud to say that I was that guy playing the character of Dr. Burke on 'Grey's Anato...
ISAIAH WASHINGTON It's hard to say goodbye to the streets. It's all how you do it. You can pass by and say, &#...
SNOOP DOGG I mean, comedy's hard. If you go back and look at the first season of 'Seinfeld,' it'...
ZACHARY KNIGHTON I need to get a wife. But it's hard, you know, it's hard to find a girl you can trust. Some ...
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER It's hard to get into Newsweek because, as more of our former intellectual magazines take on a p...
BRANFORD MARSALIS I've always felt compelled to explore range, because, as far as I know, we're only here once...
TWYLA THARP Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK In New York, you've got Donald Trump, Woody Allen, a crack addict and a regular Joe, and they...
ETHAN HAWKE Online piracy needs to be dealt with itself, because people are just wholesale stealing people's...
TIM HEIDECKER A guitar can be so human, so sorrowful, so angry, and I wanted to figure out how to achieve that vib...
HALSEY Success is carved out of a hard tree. It doesn't just happen. It's people who stick to it th...
JACLYN SMITH There are so few roles out there. And even if it is a film that could be led by a black actress, how...
OCTAVIA SPENCER It's always wonderful to get to know women, with the mystery and the joy and the depth. If you c...
KEANU REEVES Touring is hard. It's really hard on the singer, especially, because your body is your instrumen...
GLORIA ESTEFAN I love the show 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia;' that's probably a guilty pleasu...
LINDEN ASHBY Woody Allen movies are like Beatles songs. I can't name my favorite without you immediately nami...
COLIN TREVORROW When you're younger, it's about, 'How can I get better? How can I become the player that...
TONY ROMO Barbra Streisand has always been an inspiration for me. I admire Jennifer Lopez because she's be...
LAUREN LONDON As a surgeon you have to have a controlled arrogance. If it's uncontrolled, you kill people, but...
MEHMET OZ I'm sick of hearing, thinking and talking about Woody Allen. Nonetheless, the allegations agains...
ROXANE GAY Without strength and courage it's really hard to perform at the highest levels of international ...
SCOTT HAMILTON I don't know if you have ever seen the Woody Allen film 'Annie Hall,' but it is, in a wa...
HENRY ROLLINS We're living in what I like to call the 'Thank You Economy,' because only the companies ...
GARY VAYNERCHUK I always think it's because of you know hard work, hard training. And if Susie's training ha...
INGE DE BRUIJN It's pretty hard to make out what's going to be a commercial success and what's not.
GAVIN ROSSDALE 'MacGyver' of course, that's probably my favorite show of all time because it was a guy ...
RHYS DARBY Only the public can make a star. It's the studios who try to make a system out of it.
MARILYN MONROE

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN