Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic...

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

Olive oil ... asparagus ... if your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people.

Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel.