Because conflict-avoidant Emily would never “bite” or even hiss unless Greg had done something truly horrible, on some level she processes his bite to mean that she’s terribly guilty—of something, anything, who knows what?

Scores of studies have shown that venting doesn't soothe anger; it fuels it.

I was hell-bent on being an effective humanitarian in Cambodia and Somalia. But a naïve fog is finally lifting. Revealed is a train wreck of illusions, the depravity of someone else's war, the futility of a competence stillborn there. To understand this you have to become this.

It's an odd quandary for us, ... It's like there's compassion fatigue all around. I can certainly appreciate someone's anger. Then again, everybody has a limited amount to give.

Anger is very difficult for me to express. I have a tremendous amount of anger but I like to save it ... for my loved ones.

Anger is very difficult for me to express. I have a tremendous amount of anger but I like to save it for my loved ones.