Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to the bathroom door.

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time...

Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

Never judge a book by it's movie