Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball

As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!