When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.

I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

Cop didn't see it, I didn't do it!

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands