When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.


George Carlin

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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a ...
GEORGE CARLIN
When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America...
GEORGE CARLIN
When you grow up, you gain experience and realise what youre capable of.
FRANCESCO TOTTI
who wants flowers when youre dead? nobody.
J.D. SALINGER
You better believe I’m going to have a front-row seat when (Krause) is speaking.
ROBERT DAVENPORT
We have to keep a good frame of mind and not overlook La Villa. Anytime you do that, youre going to ...
HECTOR GARCIA
Dont try to go too fast. Learn your job. Dont ever talk until you know what youre talking about. If ...
SAM RAYBURN
My advice for any entrepreneur or innovator is to get into the food industry in some form so you hav...
KIMBAL MUSK
if youre never scared, or embarased, or hurt, it means you never take any chances.
JULIA SOREL
If youre in an awkward position, feel comfortable enough to walk away.
BEAU MIRCHOFF
Thats the thing about the Internet. You can put a lot of distance between yourself and the person yo...
ELLEN WRIGHT
He had a front row seat to the massacre,
JOHN POWERS
You do that Helen", Mallory dared. "And tell him we said to f*ck off while youre at it".
CHLOE NEILL
I would rather have a back row seat in the house of the lord than a front row seat amoung the rich a...
ALBEN WILLIAM BARKLEY
Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!
JEFF KINNEY
I was born at the right time. I was a freak - the only young player when darts took off in the 1970s...
ERIC BRISTOW
A true freak cannot be made. A true freak must be born.
KATHERINE DUNN
I'm kind of a germ freak. When I get on a plane, I spray my seat and everything with Lysol Disin...
KELLY ROWLAND
I grew up with a front row seat to the American dream.
MIKE PENCE
When you are lonely for a while don't get restless, if you had born alone, you are going to die alon...
AMIT KALANTRI
Ye been oure lord, dooth with youre owene thyngRight as yow list.
CHAUCER
We show up way early so we can get on the front row and get the best seats possible.
TOBY PYKLES
I listened to George Carlin when I was a kid and knew every word of his routines.
SEAN HAYES
MRS PEARCE. Mr Higgins: youre tempting the girl. It’s not right. She should think of the future. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW Why fit in when you were born to stand out?
DR. SEUSS
You didn't need a weapon at all when you were born one.
SARAH J. MAAS
You only live twice. Once when you are born and once when you look death in the face.
IAN FLEMING
If limousines were extremely long, they wouldn't need drivers. You could just get in the back seat, ...
JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER
If I didn't have a front-row seat on history, it was at least a seat on the aisle.
DAN RATHER
If there was a mobility service that's cheaper than owning a car, more reliable, and you get to ...
TRAVIS KALANICK
Stop trying to fit in when you were born to stand out.
LAO TZU
You have to be born a sex symbol. You don't become one. If you're born with it, you'll have it even ...
SOPHIA LOREN
When you perform in front of an audience after only two days of rehearsal, you're flying by the ...
MICHAEL RICHARDS
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live you life in a manner so that when you die...
NATIVE AMERICAN PROVERB
When you're born into a showbiz family, the deck is stacked against you.
JOHN DARNIELLE
When you catch a glimpse of your potential, that's when passion is born.
ZIG ZIGLAR
You only live twice:
Once when you are born
And once when you look death in the face
IAN FLEMING
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you ...
ANTHONY ROBBINS
It wasn't going foul, ... You know when you get out in front and the ball's going to slice a little ...
TODD HELTON
When you perform in front of an audience after only two days of rehearsal, you're flying by the seat...
MICHAEL RICHARDS
I loved George Carlin... I used to sit in front of the TV and watch the HBO comedy specials. I loved...
MICK FOLEY
Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?
IAN WALLACE
When you put your hand to the plow, you can't put it down until you get to the end of the row.
ALICE PAUL
A big part of reporting is just being present. You have to show up ten days in a row to get the one ...
ADRIAN NICOLE LEBLANC
here I am simply trying to get into your head
you think you were born you die what a pity
IKKYU
Sometimes heroes are born, and sometimes heroes are made. People get to show what they're made of in...
DAVID MARANISS
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite direct...
GEORGE CARLIN
You have to be born a sex symbol. You don't become one. If you're born with it, you'll h...
SOPHIA LOREN
For when a child is born the mother also is born again.
GILBERT PARKER
You might get some serial killers who are born with a chip missing, but for the most part I don'...
BENICIO DEL TORO
Youthfulness is about how you live not when you were born.
KARL LAGERFELD
I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.
HUMPHREY BOGART
I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.
DOROTHY B. HUGHES
They should tell you when you’re born: have a suitcase heart, be ready to travel.
GABRIELLE ZEVIN
The more people are vocal about the risks in the secondary market, the better it's going to be for c...
BONNIE POINDEXTER
If you show up to work five days in a row, nobody's going to pat you on the back - everyone does...
JOHN DARNIELLE
Growing up, I had a front row seat to seeing two people work really hard. My dad scrubbed toilets at...
MIA LOVE
If the placebo effect was a week or two, I would understand that and say, 'Yes, youre right.' You kn...
BOB GREEN
When you are born again, you are brought into the kingdom to find your destiny
SUNDAY ADELAJA
Its important to know stories. I felt the earth shift to make a place for you when you were born, an...
SHANNON HALE
I was born to do sitcoms, where you get an immediate response from the audience.
KIRSTIE ALLEY
When I'm born I'm black, when I grow up I'm black, when I'm in the sun I'm black, when I'm sick I'm ...
OGLALA LAKOTA
When you put your hand to the plow, you can't put it down until you get to the end of the row.
ALICE PAUL
Debt is born when you want to spend money before you have earned it.
VIKRANT PARSAI
You are not born to follow the society, you are born to inspire it - you are born to teach it - you ...
ABHIJIT NASKAR
As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get fast enough. And finally, just when you think ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I was born in 1946, so I was born on the tail end of when everything was deemed important. You made ...
PATTI SMITH
When the euro was born, it was born in the wrong economic circumstances.
JOHN MAJOR
When you're born, you have your right and wrong. I veered wrong, first, but now I'm veering right, t...
BO SMITH
As they say in the bible, that you're supposed to rejoice when people die and mourn when they...
GREGG ALLMAN
I always say that polo, for you to pursue a career, mainly any sport, you have to be born in the rig...
NACHO FIGUERAS
They thought to use and shame me but I win out by nature, because a true freak cannot be made. A tru...
KATHERINE DUNN
If you are a dreamer come in
If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar
A hoper a pray-er a magi...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN
It's a little chicken and egg. The flows tend to follow the market, but when you get a nice six mont...
BRETT GALLAGHER
We seat 220 people, and there will be a flurry when four tables get up at once. When a 15-top and tw...
DON SILVA
That's what you need when you can't get the pretty ones. Just get the puck to the net, get some scre...
BRAD RICHARDSON
I like playing mid because you get to shoot off the break, and when front players move up, you get t...
DAN MATHIS
When I played, a 300-pounder was a freak. Today, if you don't weigh 300 pounds you are a freak.
ART KEHOE
You are born, you live and then you die. But when you forgive you are free to live again!
STEPHEN RICHARDS
The mind is a wonderful thing. It starts working the minute you're born and never stops working unti...
PATRICIA ANN BALL
You should study not only that you become a mother when your child is born, but also that you become...
DOGEN
Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out?” “I’m nothing special. I’m drowning,” I...
IF I WAKE
Greatness is achieved when you fulfil your purpose by doing what you were born to do.
MENSAH OTEH
Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner, unless you eat some of what's on that plate. Being he...
MALCOLM X
When you are born rich, you have all these options. You can pursue a career path that you find inter...
JAMIE JOHNSON
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world...
AMERICAN INDIAN PROVERB
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world...
INDIAN PROVERB
That was his goal, to get with her. They were just obsessed with having him there when the baby is b...
JUDY HAYLES
You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser. You are what you make yourself to be.
ALBERT GRAY
It's tough to play when teams are coming after you every game. You win two years in a row; now three...
BILL MANDIGO
People despise us. The police don't like us because they get tickets. The store people feel the same...
ELADIO CASTILLO
When you're born again, your DNA changes. You have the ability to understand God's terms.
BILL MCCARTNEY
In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get - The Future!
DAN QUAYLE
We do not get to choose how we start out in life. We do not get to choose the day we are born or the...
IDOWU KOYENIKAN
When you are born--what you are born into, the place, the history of the place, how that history mat...
JEANETTE WINTERSON
Life depends on you and your choices. The real value of your life largely depends on what you do wit...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH
He is like a pig in slop in this thing -- this is clearly what he was born to do. When I first heard...
ROBERT THOMPSON
O fortunatam natam me consule Romam! - O happy Rome, born when I was consul!
MARCUS TULLIUS CICERO
The human brain is a wonderful organ. It starts to work as soon as you are born and doesn't stop unt...
GEORGE JESSEL
I was born in America, but I consider myself a Filipino.
JESSICA SANCHEZ

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Meow” means “woof” in cat.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'Fo...
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Some people dream of things that never were and ...
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuc...
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches e...
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It was my uncle who taught me about the birds and the bees. He sat me down one day and said, 'Rememb...
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is ...
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save ...
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for ...
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-
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Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're hav...
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fa...
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year t...
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Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one h...
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're ...
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Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you i...
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Buil...
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Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to t...
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I ...
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She sai...
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If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
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For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the...
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
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Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Coliseum called the Caesarian Section
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If it requires a uniform it's a worthless endeavor
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we get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.
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If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
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Life is a series of dogs
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.
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I have no emotional stake in Panda fucking.
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Jesus was a cross dresser
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth
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The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it
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If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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I'm the creative type,
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When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons
GEORGE CARLIN
Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
GEORGE CARLIN
He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident.
GEORGE CARLIN
Rich White Men Don't Care About Poor Black People
GEORGE CARLIN
You get to play with people's little danger zones.
GEORGE CARLIN
'We hope you enjoy your stay in Chicago or wherever your final destination may be.' All destinations...
GEORGE CARLIN
When you stress individualism, as this country does; materialism, as this country does; personal wea...
GEORGE CARLIN
In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
GEORGE CARLIN
In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today; rescue operations are continuing
GEORGE CARLIN
I went straight from shenanigans to cries against humanity
GEORGE CARLIN
A man came up to me on the street and said I used to be messed up out of my mind on drugs but now I'...
GEORGE CARLIN
I tell ya, if I hadn't chosen the career of being a performer, I think linguistics would have been a...
GEORGE CARLIN
If you’re reading it in a book, folks, it ain’t self-help. It’s help.
GEORGE CARLIN
If the Reds were baseball's first team, who did they play?
GEORGE CARLIN
What if Alexander Graham Bell's name were Alexander Graham Siren? The phone wouldn't ring, it would ...
GEORGE CARLIN
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that bi...
GEORGE CARLIN
Excuse me, officer, but would you mind bringing the wreckage a little closer this way? My wife can't...
GEORGE CARLIN
Everything beeps now
GEORGE CARLIN
You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic
GEORGE CARLIN
Think about it,
GEORGE CARLIN
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and...
GEORGE CARLIN
Most people are not particularly good at anything
GEORGE CARLIN
I enjoy watching reruns of Saturday Night Live and counting all the dead people
GEORGE CARLIN
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or ...
GEORGE CARLIN
What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your...
GEORGE CARLIN
One thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.
GEORGE CARLIN
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
GEORGE CARLIN
If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categ...
GEORGE CARLIN
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
GEORGE CARLIN