FastSaying

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.


Woody Allen

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN You're born alone and you die alone. No one can help you and no one can stop those things..everyman ...
JOEL MADDEN They say death and taxes are the only things that are inevitable. The truth is, you can not pay your...
STEVE EARLE If we all look at life we think how nice, then we look at death and everybody goes oh you can say th...
GARY F EVANS... Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN The difference between art about death and actual death is that one's a celebration and the othe...
DAMIEN HIRST No one can make you happy. No one can help you grow in life more than you can. I can love you to dea...
MUSIQ SOULCHILD One can live with the thought of one's own death. It is the thought of the death of the words and bo...
LANCE MORROW We breathe, sleep, drink, eat, work and then die! The end of life is death. What do you long for? Lo...
GUY DE MAUPASSANT Death is the destination we all share, no one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be becau...
STEVE JOBS The price of living seems to always be death."
Tohin stood, joints popping audibly. "And that i...
KIERSTEN WHITE The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meet...
WILL ROGERS Think not disdainfully of death, but look on it with favor; for even death is one of the things that...
MARCUS AURELIUS ANTONINUS 'Hamlet' is one of the most dangerous things ever set down on paper. All the big, unknowable...
MICHAEL SHEEN I have found that the Way of the samurai is death. This means that when you are compelled to choose ...
YAMAMOTO TSUNETOMO One of the greatest gifts we can give people is the hope that their death is nothing to fear - you k...
MAX LUCADO Sex is one of the most personal things we do as people. To have someone who says she loves you limit...
LAURELL K. HAMILTON There is time for a fight and a time for a flight; knowing the right time to do one or the other can...
BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA No one can say that death found in me a willing comrade, or that I went easily.
CASSANDRA CLARE Every moment is priceless.A minute is enough to win a victory. A second is enough to make you the ri...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA It is what it is, it is what you make it.
JAMES DURBIN Death is always less painful and easier than life! You speak true. And yet we do not, day to day, ch...
ROBIN HOBB The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress ...
WILL ROGERS There is only one belief that can rob death of its sting and the grave of its victory.. For without ...
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW Rincewind had been told that death was just like going into another room. The difference is, when yo...
TERRY PRATCHETT As long as your body is healthy and under control and death is distant, try to save your soul; when ...
CHANAKYA Yes, death. Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving abov...
OSCAR WILDE Nothing seems so tragic to one who is old as the death of one who is young and this alone proves tha...
ZOE AKINS Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to "die before you die" --- ...
ECKHART TOLLE It is true that you can say that death is natural, but it is also natural to fight death. But if you...
PETER THIEL I like things that are just about to go. Everything's leaving. Death is never far away from me. ...
GARY HUME The call of death is a call of love. Death can be sweet if we answer it in the affirmative, if we ac...
HERMANN HESSE You can die the death of a thousand cuts very easily.
ADAM CUMMINGS The mightiest power of death is not that it can make people die, but that it can make the people you...
FREDRIK BACKMAN I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day.
MITCH ALBOM The death of one will bring sorrow to my soul, but the death of 100? That will only make me think ab...
ALAN LE One of the things that makes every man even is death..
OLASOT Serenity is the balance between good and bad, life and death, horrors and pleasures. Life is, as it ...
NORMAN DAVIES You experience life alone, you can be as intimate with another as much as you like, but there has to...
STEVE TOLTZ I lived for you. And I lived for Will, and then I lived for Tessa - and for myself, because I wanted...
CASSANDRA CLARE If we lived for ever, what you say would be true. But we have to die, we have to leave life presentl...
E.M. FORSTER There is but one freedom, to put oneself right with death. After that everything is possible. I cann...
ALBERT CAMUS For those who live neither with religious consolations about death nor with a sense of death (or of ...
SUSAN SONTAG Each man lives in his own universe and when he dies the world is over
BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA By the Way of the warrior is meant death. The Way of the warrior is death. This means choosing death...
YAMAMOTO TSUNETOMO Life and death; there is no bridge between the two; they are stuck to each other! Death is only a st...
MEHMET MURAT ILDAN To stand on the
brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation—with no feeli...
ASK AND IT IS GIVEN Honor from death,” I snap, “is a myth. Invented by the war torn to make sense of the horrific. I...
RAE CARSON Friday the 13th plays into the key themes of this film -- no one can escape death's design and if yo...
GORDON PADDISON I'm excited about it. One of the great things about coaching is there's a difference between potenti...
JOE PHILBIN I was taught to confront things you can't avoid. Death is one of those things. To live in a soci...
DAMIEN HIRST —and I say you still haven't answered my question, Father Bleu."
"Haven't I, dear lady? I tho...
JOHN JAKES There is no fundamental difference between the preparation for death and the practice of dying, and ...
STANISLAV GROF The difference between Socrates and Jesus is that no one had ever been put to death in Socrates' nam...
E.L. DOCTOROW Sometimes, and I hate to say it, you do feel things are asked for in the most ludicrously unrealisti...
DARREN BOYD Bushido is realized in the presence of death. This means choosing death whenever there is a choice b...
TSUNETOMO YAMAMOTO Death comes at you no matter what you do in this life, and to equate drugs with death is a facile co...
JERRY GARCIA To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows...
SOCRATES I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES For to fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise without really being wise, for it is ...
PLATO It is hard to have patience with people who say There is no death or Death doesn't matter. There is ...
C.S. LEWIS It is hard to have patience with people who say "There is no death" or "Death doesn't matter." There...
C. S. LEWIS It is hard to have patience with people who say ''There is no death'' or ''Death doesn't matter'.' T...
C.S. LEWIS Thus that which is the most awful of evils, death, is nothing to us, since when we exist there is no...
EPICURUS The safest course is to do nothing against one's conscience. With this secret, we can enjoy life...
VOLTAIRE If you can't (or won't) sort mail, where is the proof that you can do anything?
RANDY PAUSCH Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference betwe...
WILLIAM JAMES If therefore you shall be remembered for what you did with what you had more than what you had, use ...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I don't know why it's so hard for people to admit that sometimes they're just assholes who screw up ...
KAREN M. MCMANUS One cannot justify death by taking another person's life. As death itself cannot be justified. No ma...
C. LIDE SANGTAM In the end, the art of hunger can be described as an existential art. It is a way of looking death i...
PAUL AUSTER By living our lives, we nurture death. True as this might be, it was only one of the truths we had t...
HARUKI MURAKAMI Feast of All Souls The antithesis between death and life is not so stark for the Christian as it ...
RAYMOND CHAPMAN There are no more surprises and shocks in life, so that I watch the flame without agitation. For me ...
R.K. NARAYAN Commemoration of Alphege, Archbishop of Canterbury, Martyr, 1012 Love is strong as death; but not...
JOHN DONNE We love death. The US loves life. That is the difference between us two.
OSAMA BIN LADEN Be good...and let who can be clever; Do lovely things, not dream them, all day long; And so make Lif...
CHARLES KINGSLEY Your shadow is bought and paid for, and your death will not remit that payment. You can go shadowles...
ERIN BOW Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not b...
J.R.R. TOLKIEN Death is tough for the people left behind on earth.
PRATEEKSHA MALIK Unless death is made a lesson for the living, the life lived is wasted.
Why should life come in...
JOSEPH LEWIS When we have done our best, we can, as a united people, take whatever may befall with calm courage a...
EAMON DE VALERA Writing never comes easy. The difference between Page 2 and Page Nothing is the difference between l...
AARON SORKIN I always go for the sex and violence, ... If you can be great, you should talk about love and death....
THOMAS CAHILL And then, if you make it to bedtime, you feel the joy of cheating death out of one more day," she sa...
SUZANNE COLLINS We die a day at a time
BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA Rosencrantz: We might as well be dead. Do you think death could possibly be a boat?
Guildenster...
TOM STOPPARD Nature has but one judgment on wrong conductif you can call that a judgment which seemingly has no r...
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES Nothing except possibly love and death are of importance, & even the importance of death is somewhat...
GERALD DURRELL When you lose someone untimely; all left is never ending guilt, fear, and pain.
NIKITA DUDANI Rosencrantz: Do you think death could possibly be a boat?
Guildenstern: No, no, no...Death is......
TOM STOPPARD I have seen death face to face and returned to the world of living beings. I have savored the fear o...
MANOJE BASU Death is certain. Nobody can escape it. Then why fear death? Live till you die!
RVM No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And ye...
STEVE JOBS The door is now open to some kinds of corporate activity with very few checks. Scrutiny by the court...
CHRIS BRIGHT No one can outrun death. It will catch up to all of us eventually.
BILLY GRAHAM

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN