Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity

It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.

Who enjoys life more? Well to start with, definitely the Living

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."


My Anorexic Ex was so skinny she didn't give head, she gave skull

When she says 'I've never done this before" she just means with you