Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

Why do women always feel they have to settle for less?

I’ve said over and over again jokingly that the only way a woman can truly be completely satisfied is to get herself four different men—an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay
guy. Now the four of them combined? They got you covered.

My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.

Was it necessary to tell me that you wanted nothing in the world but me?'

The corners of his mouth drooped peevishly.

Oh, my dear, it's rather hard to take quite literally the things a man says when he's in love with you.'

Didn't you mean them?'

At the moment.