ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.
Ambrose Bierce
Related
ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacit...
AMBROSE BIERCE There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT Of all the fools that pride can boast,
A Coxcomb claims distinction most.
JOHN GAY INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
AMBROSE BIERCE Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
AMBROSE BIERCE BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It i...
AMBROSE BIERCE The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
ANAIS NIN Clergyman, n. - A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of betterin...
AMBROSE BIERCE Formerly we used to canonize our heroes. The modern method is to vulgarize them. Cheap editions of g...
OSCAR WILDE What is it that makes you so angry, bothers you so deeply, that you're compelled to act?
CRAIG GROESCHEL PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction --prototype of the modern newspa...
AMBROSE BIERCE The first proof of a person's incapacity to achieve, is their endeavoring to fix the stigma of failu...
B. R. HAYDEN GRAMMAR, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the...
AMBROSE BIERCE The history of man is a graveyard of great cultures that came to catastrophic ends because of their ...
ERICH FROMM People who pretend to be your friend lead you up a garden path by saying everything that you want to...
GARY F EVANS... Jewish cantors employ a peculiar art and method of singing in their delivery. They are unexcelled in...
ENRICO CARUSO For those who need consolation no means of consolation is so effective as the assertion that in thei...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE In this age, the mere example of non-conformity, the mere refusal to bend the knee to custom, is its...
JOHN STUART MILL Everyday people all over the world take advantage of life, they abuse it and dice with it.Life is so...
GARY F EVANS... The scientific method gives us
information by testing and repeating observable things so that we
can...
LEWIS N. ROE if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it...
CHARLES BUKOWSKI So-called professional mathematicians have, in their reliance on the relative incapacity of the rest...
G. C. (GEORG CHRISTOPH) LICHTENBERG History, n. An account mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly...
AMBROSE BIERCE I love to accentuate my eyes, so I'll wear eyeshadow and mascara.
MING XI Everyone has a best feature, so find clothes and accessories to accentuate those, whether it's y...
TIM GUNN There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts.
VOLTAIRE There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts
VOLTAIRE Men employ speech only to conceal their thoughts.
VOLTAIRE Eccentricity has always abounded when and where strength of character had abounded; and the amount o...
JOHN STUART MILL HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by ruler...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eccentricity has always abounded when and where strength of character has abounded; and the amount o...
JOHN STUART MILL Eccentricity has always abounded when and where strength of character has abounded; and the amount...
JOHN STUART MILL You want to talk about a matter of inches. No one was more distraught than Ambrose after that game.
CHARLIE WEIS Whether you are new to the scene or a long-time grillmaster, everyone has unique preferences when it...
HOMARO CANTU I know of no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their strict execu...
ULYSSES SIMPSON GRANT We may claim to believe in God, but we don't want to believe so much that it makes us different.
CRAIG GROESCHEL I do not prize the word "cheap." It is not a badge of honor. It is a symbol of despair. Cheap prices...
WILLIAM MCKINLEY I know no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their stringent execu...
ULYSSES S. GRANT Well, Valek, any new promotions?” the Commander asked
“No. But Maren shows promise. Unfortu...
MARIA V. SNYDER The amount of eccentricity in a society has generally been proportional to the amount of genius, men...
JOHN STUART MILL I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that t...
OGDEN NASH Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compoundi...
ROBERT BENCHLEY It's the old adage: You can make a pizza so cheap, nobody will eat it. You can make an airline s...
GORDON BETHUNE Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office.
AESOP A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to the point of doubtful sanity.
ROBERT FROST In fact it's quite gratifying for me to see some of the people who really objected to this method of...
DEREK BAILEY Was it the forgetfulness of old age or personal incapacity that made the man able to say please but ...
YANN MARTEL Fools because of their transgression, and because of their iniquities, are afflicted.
BIBLE Atheists have known so much that they have known no more_ they're masters of fools with satan as the...
KIMTO OCHE EMMANUEL When looking for evidence that something exists, it's silly
to start by assuming that it is impossib...
LEWIS N. ROE Using the scientific knowledge that we
currently possess, we can take simple logical steps, backed b...
LEWIS N. ROE “When you control their water, you control the people.”
-Nabil N. Jamal
NABIL N. JAMAL Cunning and treachery are the offspring of incapacity.
FRANÇOIS DUC DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD Apparently nobody really read it, it was a cheap movie, it fit their schedule in terms of things so ...
BARRY LEVINSON Eccentricity may be diverting, Mama, but it is out of place in a wife: certainly in my wife!
GEORGETTE HEYER ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Not to be vain, but I have nice long legs, so I like to accentuate them. Find what part of your body...
KHLOE KARDASHIAN The imperfection became a mark of distinction about their home. Something visitors noticed, the firs...
JHUMPA LAHIRI There's not much room for eccentricity in Hollywood, and eccentricity is what's sexy in peop...
RACHEL WEISZ It took me a while to warm to the '20s costumes on 'Downton.' I love it when women accen...
LILY JAMES Everyone gets scared at times. It's only the fools who won't admit it.
JENNIFER A. NIELSEN Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoug...
VOLTAIRE Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoug...
VOLTAIRE Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I there represent that I sent notice of my method to Mr. Leibnitz before he sent notice of his metho...
ISAAC NEWTON It is not accidental that the most unsympathetic characters in Austen's novels are those who are inc...
AZAR NAFISI I'm going to copyright myself so he can have that distinction, sell them off.
PHIL JACKSON There were a lot of fools at that conference—pompous fools—and pompous fools drive me up the wal...
RICHARD FEYNMAN I find only freedom in the realms of eccentricity.
DAVID BOWIE Thresholds of pain, indignity and incapacity are entirely personal.
POLLY TOYNBEE It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
SOURCE UNKNOWN The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
ANAïS NIN Fools live to regret their words, wise men to regret their silence
WILL HENRY Apparently nobody really read it, it was a cheap movie, it fit their schedule in terms of things so ...
BARRY LEVINSON Eccentricity of a creative mind may not be pleasing for the people around it, but it is important fo...
AMIT KALANTRI Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of ...
DAME EDITH SITWELL The world thinks eccentricity in great things is genius, but in small things, only crazy.
EDWARD G. BULWER-LYTTON There was an otherworldly quality about him, the aura of one privy to secret communiques in forgotte...
JAMES K. MORROW It's OK to be an eccentric; it's not OK to be a rude and dirty eccentric.
TEMPLE GRANDIN The result of these shared experiences was a closeness unknown to all outsiders. Comrades are closer...
STEPHEN E. AMBROSE A great unrecognized incapacity.
[Fr., Une grande incapacite inconnue.]
KARL OTTO VON SCHONHAUSEN BISMARCK Relativism is neither a method of fighting, nor a method of creating, for both of these are uncompro...
KAREL CAPEK Most companies become bankrupt because they ignorantly employ greed in the management of their affai...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Delete the negative; accentuate the positive!
DONNA KARAN Delete the negative;Accentuate the positive!
DONNA KARAN Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of underst...
AMBROSE GWINETT BIERCE Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understa...
AMBROSE BIERCE Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding ...
ROBERT BENCHLEY Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a...
ROBERT BENCHLEY There's rock n' roll in hip-hop, there's rock n' roll in pop music, there's rock...
JOHN VARVATOS Immaturity is the incapacity to use one's intelligence without the guidance of another.
IMMANUEL KANT It is a fact that all women contribute more to marriage than men; for the most part they have to cha...
AGNES MACPHAIL It is impossible to make anything fool- proof because fools are so ingenious.
SOURCE UNKNOWN All I ever did to that apartment was hang fifty yards of yellow theatrical silk across the bedroom w...
JOAN DIDION We can never make proper goodbyes. It was your last ride in a Checker cab and you had no warning. It...
COLSON WHITEHEAD Only fools listen to their hearts. Only fools get attached. We wanderers get in and get out just in ...
SHRUTI UPADHAYA SOPHISTRY, n. The controversial method of an opponent, distinguished from one's own by superior insi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
More Ambrose Bierce
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE