Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.

Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of votes clearly should be curtailed - 'assault votes,' for example, in which the only purpose of the vote is to harm others.

There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election.

In a free country, government is a dull and onerous responsibility. It is a parent-teacher conference.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon.