Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live.

The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian.

I gotta be honest with you. I'm kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

It was a lot of fun.

I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.