Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? People are nice to ya, they give you the beneift o' the doubt... You drive a flash car down the freeway and the cops'll pull y'over and before they even look they like 'What the f**k are you doing?' and then they see it's you and they like 'Awww man, it's Chris Rock, it's okay, man we thought you was a nigga'.

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.