Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.

Changeable women are more enduring than monotonous ones. They are sometimes murdered but seldom deserted.

Heaven, as conventionally conceived, is a place so inane, so dull, so useless, so miserable, that nobody has ever ventured to describe a whole day in heaven, though plenty of people have described a day at the seaside.

If all the economists in the world were laid end to end, they would still not reach a conclusion.

Golf is typical capitalist lunacy.

Bad theaters are as mischievous as bad schools.