Golf: A plague invented by the Calvinistic Scots as a punishment for man's sins.

The people of the United States will do anything for Latin America, except read about it.

I think most students think that most professors play golf or watch sports and drink beer when they go home.

The golf swing is among the most stressful and unnatural acts in sports, short of cheering for the Yankees.

[Among these players, fierce competitiveness is a given. But rather than being an obstacle to closeness, it can be the glue, as long as it's mixed with admiration, humor and good chemistry.] Everybody always wants to win, but it's never a problem among the people who make you feel like you did when you were all kids just playing a game, ... There can be no room for jealousy if there is true friendship.

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.