Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?

I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.

Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.

Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better. :)
Life: LOL, give me a second!

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.