He faces some serious jail time,

His records did better after he got out of jail then they did before he went to jail. It helped his career.

I remember one time when all the nuns in my Catholic grade school got around in a semicircle, me and Mom in the middle, and they said, 'Mrs. Farley, the children at school are laughing at Christopher, not with him.' I thought, 'Who cares? As long as they're laughing.'

People... need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, 'I may be bad, honey, but I'm not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.'

You ain't supposed to go to jail.

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.