He's so ugly. When you walked by him, your pants wrinkle. He made fly balls curve foul.

He's so ugly he should have to wear an oxygen mask.

He's so ugly. When you walked by him, your pants wrinkle. He made fly balls curve foul.

When a man wears his pants that tight, they tend to pinch his balls, and that tends to pinch his temper.

The first thing you do when you get out to center field is put up your finger and check the wind chill factor.

A-Rod don't want to be the straw that stirs the drink. He want to be known as a fair guy who goes out and help a team to win a pennant. He's a great guy.