Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.

Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own.

The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen

That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.

I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.