I am 45, and I am not ready for carpet slippers and 10:30 bedtimes, but I am middle-aged.

It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth.

I'm a white, middle-aged, married, middle-class male with kids. I couldn't be disenfranchised if I tried.

It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

Yes, yes, I know all the jokes. What else could I have expected at Highbury? But I went to Chelsea and to Tottenham and to Rangers, and saw the same thing: that the natural state of a football fan is bitter disappointment, no matter what the score.

...So please, be tolerant of those who describe a sporting moment as their best ever. We do not lack imagination, nor have we had sad and barren lives; it is just that real life is paler, duller, and contains less potential for unexpected delirium.