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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers

FunnyLifeManMotherPoorSex

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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
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It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.
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[But she was closer to her mother.] I adored my mother. She was very formal and proper, but she was so full of fun when you got to know her. ... Because she was really like me, without the cover. You know when you take the shell off a tortoise? There's my mother. I live a lot the way she lived. I have a very formal home and my daughter was brought up strictly and all that.
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My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
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