I care about strangers when they're abstractions, but I feel almost nothing when they're literally in front of me.

I honestly believe that people of my generation despise authenticity, mostly because they're all so envious of it.

If I knew I was going to die at a specific moment in the future, it would be nice to be able to control what song I was listening to; this is why I always bring my iPod on airplanes.

...because people who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation. It's a way for people to be honest without telling the truth.

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

In Fargo, they say, well, that's a job. How well do you get paid? For example, for this book I was written about in Entertainment Weekly, and it was kind of cool because my mom asked me if Entertainment Weekly was a magazine or a newspaper.