I do have the roller skates from 'Boogie Nights.'

The Orioles' Dick Hall comes off the mound like a drunk kangaroo on roller skates.

The Orioles' Dick Hall comes off the mound like a drunk kangaroo on roller skates.

I remember when we were shooting 'Boogie Nights,' all of my stand-ins were wiping out all the time. I'd practice before I got to the set, but they'd just show up and put on the roller-skates, and they'd be skating over these wires and cables, so they would all fall over. It was totally dangerous.

When I was 3, my parents strapped on a pair of Playskool plastic roller skates to my feet, and that's where the story begins.

I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.