I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.