I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'

I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.