I had a lovely military flight, thank you. I love spiraling in -- nothing like that to make your colon go, "Fire in the hole!"

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.

We're like America's little pit bull. They beat it, starve it, mistreat it, and once in a while they let it out to attack somebody.

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'

I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant," said Blouse.
"Right you are, sir!" said the sergeant. "Carborundum! First man comes through that door runnin', I want him nailed to the wall!" He caught the lieutenant's eye, and added: "But not too hard!

Don't waste yer' breath kid. Explainin' anything to that one? It's like tryin' ta' slap the dumb off a retard... -George Foster