I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won t.


Mark Twain

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I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b...
MARK TWAIN
George Washington as a boy was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - he could not eve...
MARK TWAIN
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not ev...
MARK TWAIN
I, Mark Twain being of sound mind, have spent everything
MARK TWAIN
If it wasn't for the Mark Twain Masquers, I don't know where my life would have gone.
PETER FALK
I grew up reading Shakespeare and Mark Twain.
JACKSON BROWNE
I wish I could shut up, but I can't, and I won't.
DESMOND TUTU
Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
KINKY FRIEDMAN
I could also have stepped into a style much higher than this in which I have here discoursed, and co...
JOHN BUNYAN
I don't claim any moral or ethical high ground, but I also have chosen not to run for public off...
MARK MCKINNON
Mark Twain was a great traveler and he wrote three or four great travel books. I wouldn't say th...
PAUL THEROUX
But I can please God
CRAIG GROESCHEL
I didn't mean to spend my life writing American history, which should have been taught in the sc...
GORE VIDAL
I can't be perfect for you, but you are perfect for me.
ANTHONY T. HINCKS
Mark Twain is as big as America. He really is.
VAL KILMER
I thought I was second until they told me I won, so I was kind of surprised. I'm not happy with the ...
DESTINEE HOOKER
He was not a [Thomas] Jefferson or a [George] Washington. But he was a solid second-tier.
DICK CHEATHAM
If I was the governor of New Jersey, the George Washington Bridge would not have been shut.
DONALD TRUMP
I can't play soccer, and I'm not a great swimmer. I won't drown, but you won't see m...
MICHELLE OBAMA
Why should I have to hide the fact that I don't believe there’s a supreme being? There’s no proo...
JESSE VENTURA
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irr...
FRAN LEBOWITZ
Mark Twain: A Life
RON POWERS
Everybody knows my life. I won a lot of tournaments and scored more than 1,000 goals, won three Worl...
PELE
I don't know if I have a favorite color.
KATE MIDDLETON
It's very special having a new little girl.
KATE MIDDLETON
Oh, I can't play soccer, and I'm not a great swimmer. I won't drown, but you won't s...
MICHELLE OBAMA
Mark Twain.
FRIENDS
George Washington didn't have to make us laugh; he just had to establish precedents and avoid ch...
ALEXANDRA PETRI
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."

[Mark...
MARK TWAIN
Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll li...
DICK VAN DYKE
You know what's funny is that I have this ongoing relationship with the city of Washington D.C. ...
KERRY WASHINGTON
I'm not from a political family and didn't grow up dreaming of being George Washington. I st...
AARON SCHOCK
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]
GERARD WAY
I bought a book of Mark Twain quotes. That's about my speed. I'll read a couple quotes and p...
KID ROCK
It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have to be seen to be believed.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Grief is the price we pay for love.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
These wretched babies don't come until they are ready.
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o...
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
We think that if Washington is to have a shield law, that we should have the highest standard, and w...
MARCUS DONNER
I have kept a diary,
WITHNAIL AND I
If I lie, I forget what I said the first time. I won't remember the lie. I don't know how pe...
ZACK GREINKE
Even the ugliest person's cellulite is more attractive than the most beautiful supermodel's lower in...
JENNY LAWSON
I agree with what Mark Twain said - we're all mad at night.
RUTH RENDELL
Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who could...
JAY LENO
Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'l...
DICK VAN DYKE
The answer isn't more time but a greater awareness of the time we have.
CRAIG GROESCHEL
We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want...
PRINCE WILLIAM
Family is the most important thing in the world.
PRINCESS DIANA
You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ...
CATHERINE THE GREAT
With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you...
KATE MIDDLETON
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
KING SOLOMON
I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ...
ZARA PHILLIPS
My dad's not a big talker.
ZARA PHILLIPS
My dad can be pretty critical sometimes.
ZARA PHILLIPS
I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment.
ZARA PHILLIPS
You cannot make horses 'safe.'
ZARA PHILLIPS
Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha...
ZARA PHILLIPS
It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I'm an affectionate person.
ZARA PHILLIPS
People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me...
ZARA PHILLIPS
Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au...
ZARA PHILLIPS
Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about.
ZARA PHILLIPS
My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I don't think about the media.
ZARA PHILLIPS
I love the sport and being competitive.
ZARA PHILLIPS
The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ...
ZARA PHILLIPS
I hate having my picture taken.
ZARA PHILLIPS
Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows.
ZARA PHILLIPS
My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real...
ZARA PHILLIPS
The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha...
ZARA PHILLIPS

More Mark Twain

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
MARK TWAIN
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
MARK TWAIN
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha...
MARK TWAIN
The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
MARK TWAIN
India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ...
MARK TWAIN
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
MARK TWAIN
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
MARK TWAIN
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
MARK TWAIN
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig...
MARK TWAIN
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.
MARK TWAIN
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
MARK TWAIN
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs...
MARK TWAIN
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one...
MARK TWAIN
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
MARK TWAIN
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti...
MARK TWAIN
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
MARK TWAIN
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
MARK TWAIN
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
MARK TWAIN
Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.
MARK TWAIN
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
MARK TWAIN
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
MARK TWAIN
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
MARK TWAIN
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside...
MARK TWAIN
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
MARK TWAIN
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
MARK TWAIN
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
MARK TWAIN
I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.
MARK TWAIN
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAIN
All generalizations are false, including this one.
MARK TWAIN
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba...
MARK TWAIN
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
MARK TWAIN
Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
MARK TWAIN
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
MARK TWAIN
If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half.
MARK TWAIN
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ...
MARK TWAIN
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B...
MARK TWAIN
When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu...
MARK TWAIN
The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly...
MARK TWAIN
By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec...
MARK TWAIN
So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.
MARK TWAIN
The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes...
MARK TWAIN
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w...
MARK TWAIN
The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff...
MARK TWAIN
Say the report is exaggerated.
MARK TWAIN
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ...
MARK TWAIN
To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman.
MARK TWAIN
I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ...
MARK TWAIN
A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t...
MARK TWAIN
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st...
MARK TWAIN
Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi...
MARK TWAIN
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to...
MARK TWAIN
We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ...
MARK TWAIN
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN
All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people...
MARK TWAIN
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find...
MARK TWAIN
Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood...
MARK TWAIN
As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out.
MARK TWAIN
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol...
MARK TWAIN
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than...
MARK TWAIN
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst...
MARK TWAIN
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
MARK TWAIN
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
MARK TWAIN
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh...
MARK TWAIN
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ...
MARK TWAIN
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
MARK TWAIN
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal...
MARK TWAIN
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired
MARK TWAIN
It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
MARK TWAIN
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting...
MARK TWAIN
To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.
MARK TWAIN
Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest.
MARK TWAIN
The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse...
MARK TWAIN
Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ...
MARK TWAIN
There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
MARK TWAIN
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha...
MARK TWAIN
Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled
MARK TWAIN
Necessity is the mother of "taking chances"
MARK TWAIN
Distance lends enchantment to the view
MARK TWAIN
Be good and you will be lonesome.
MARK TWAIN
Chastity - you can carry it too far
MARK TWAIN
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble.
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it...
MARK TWAIN
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
MARK TWAIN
When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many...
MARK TWAIN
Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
MARK TWAIN
I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin...
MARK TWAIN
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would...
MARK TWAIN
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati...
MARK TWAIN
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material...
MARK TWAIN
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no...
MARK TWAIN
There is a great deal of human nature in people.
MARK TWAIN
If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
MARK TWAIN
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
MARK TWAIN
The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
MARK TWAIN
Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat...
MARK TWAIN
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th...
MARK TWAIN
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,...
MARK TWAIN
Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t...
MARK TWAIN
Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN
Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind.
MARK TWAIN
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
MARK TWAIN
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th...
MARK TWAIN
A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose.
MARK TWAIN
Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,...
MARK TWAIN
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to...
MARK TWAIN
I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas...
MARK TWAIN
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
MARK TWAIN
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i...
MARK TWAIN
Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us...
MARK TWAIN
Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
MARK TWAIN
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
MARK TWAIN
I do not like work even when someone else does it.
MARK TWAIN
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig...
MARK TWAIN
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
MARK TWAIN
Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
MARK TWAIN
No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
MARK TWAIN
We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th...
MARK TWAIN
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ...
MARK TWAIN
When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.
MARK TWAIN
Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
MARK TWAIN
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
MARK TWAIN
We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum...
MARK TWAIN
There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
MARK TWAIN
I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he...
MARK TWAIN
There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were...
MARK TWAIN
People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
MARK TWAIN
My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ...
MARK TWAIN
When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te...
MARK TWAIN
In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities.
MARK TWAIN
Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.
MARK TWAIN
The lack of money is the root of all evils.
MARK TWAIN
His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.
MARK TWAIN
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures...
MARK TWAIN
All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ...
MARK TWAIN
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini...
MARK TWAIN
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m...
MARK TWAIN
There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence.
MARK TWAIN
It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech...
MARK TWAIN
There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
MARK TWAIN
War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no...
MARK TWAIN
There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe...
MARK TWAIN
To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his...
MARK TWAIN
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
MARK TWAIN
A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
MARK TWAIN
A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.
MARK TWAIN
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
MARK TWAIN
A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati...
MARK TWAIN
Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe...
MARK TWAIN
Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million.
MARK TWAIN
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar...
MARK TWAIN
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
MARK TWAIN
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro...
MARK TWAIN
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN
It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
MARK TWAIN
Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
MARK TWAIN
There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ...
MARK TWAIN
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al...
MARK TWAIN
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).
MARK TWAIN
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di...
MARK TWAIN
A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going...
MARK TWAIN
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment...
MARK TWAIN
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca...
MARK TWAIN
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r...
MARK TWAIN
The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a...
MARK TWAIN
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its...
MARK TWAIN
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall...
MARK TWAIN
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN
′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.
MARK TWAIN
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
MARK TWAIN
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN
The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
MARK TWAIN
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut...
MARK TWAIN
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAIN
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN
All right, then, I'll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
MARK TWAIN
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.
MARK TWAIN
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ...
MARK TWAIN
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
MARK TWAIN
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
MARK TWAIN
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
MARK TWAIN
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
MARK TWAIN