I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

Our dog kind of got a little jumpy ... and the dogs went to kind of say hello and he swung his stick sort of at my dog.

Mothers were much too sharp. They were like dogs. Buster always sensed when anything was out of the ordinary, and so did mothers. Mothers and dogs both had a kind of second sight that made them see into people's minds and know when anything unusual was going on.