I just don't understand it," said Klaus, which was not something he said very often.
Violet nodded in agreement, and then said something she didn't say very frequently either. "It's a puzzle I'm not sure we can solve."
"Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity," Sunny said, which was something she had said only once before. It meant something along the lines of "I must admit I don't have the faintest idea of what is going on," and the first time the youngest Baudelaire had said it, she had just been brought home from the hospital where she was born, and was looking at her siblings as they leaned over her crib to greet her.


Lemony Snicket

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One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because...
LEMONY SNICKET
Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when y...
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Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically ...
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Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, a...
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Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel...
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Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thi...
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I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat...
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An apocryphal story - the word "apocryphal" here means "obviously untrue" - tells of two people, lon...
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You may want to keep a commonplace book which is a notebook where you can copy parts of books you th...
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Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
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It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happine...
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It is much, much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling ...
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The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, an...
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Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes yo...
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It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively....
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I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and a...
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Of course I'm trying to trick you!" Olaf cried. "That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody...
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Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they...
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Aha!"

My chaperone looked at me like I should aha! back, but all I could m...
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Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down o...
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There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If...
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It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l...
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But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed perso...
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They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I...
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It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway....
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Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except p...
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It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know...
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The map is not the territory.
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I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else.
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Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.
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You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I...
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I thought maybe if I stared hard enough, I could see the lights of the city I had left so very far b...
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The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that librarie...
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There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap,...
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I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, becau...
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There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frigh...
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Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because chi...
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So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. I...
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The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drif...
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A mystery is solved with a story.
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I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get ...
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You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage ...
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Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will e...
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There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap...
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Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it befo...
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They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire...
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How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus ...
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I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do...
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There is nothing wrong with crying at the end of a long day.
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being skeptical is a good thing for a journalist, because it means you don't completely trust anyone...
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There are people in the world who care about automobiles, and there are people who couldn't care les...
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Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would s...
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There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curiou...
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It is never seven that you count to, before you do something difficult. It is never at the count of ...
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The three of us stood there for a minute. I don’t know what Stew was thinking, and the filing cabi...
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When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
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I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, ...
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They can teach you anything. That doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it.
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The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they'r...
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I thought the war was a simple matter, with one side good and the other evil. But the more I read, t...
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Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get yo...
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Of course you can trust me," Jake Hix said. "We read the same books.
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It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.
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Nobody should feel pain all by themselves.
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There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matt...
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