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Read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair.


Lemony Snicket

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Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyon...
LEMONY SNICKET Summer seems so cold without you, winter is even colder.
LEMONY SNICKET It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l...
LEMONY SNICKET You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I...
LEMONY SNICKET There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap...
LEMONY SNICKET The phrase "in the dark," as I'm sure you know, can refer not only to one's shadowy surroundings, bu...
LEMONY SNICKET but it's far too late for us; ring, hair, letters, photographs--all traces of our love will be scatt...
LEMONY SNICKET If you don't like peas,it is probably because you have not had them fresh.It is the difference betwe...
LEMONY SNICKET If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and the...
LEMONY SNICKET Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.
LEMONY SNICKET It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom o...
LEMONY SNICKET All night long they talk to each other and keep us up.
RALPH BERNARD Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them
LEMONY SNICKET A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is...
DANIEL HANDLER The human resources directors are just tearing their hair out.
BETH BUSCH Josephine caught my eye and gave me a signal we'd used for years to indicate that one of us had to l...
LEMONY SNICKET 'James and the Giant Peach' magnificently starts out Dahl's career as a blithe and droll...
PAUL DI FILIPPO The fans are especially amazing in Mexico. You look out your window, and there are fans that stay ou...
DRAKE BELL I feel like I'm drowning. Every night, I'm carrying home loads of things to read but I'm too exhaust...
GHITA LEVINE I feel like I'm drowning. Every night, I'm carrying home loads of things to read but I'm too exhaust...
CARL SANDBURG I'm weird about fruity desserts like lemony, acidic, zesty... I don't like lemon things and ...
CHRISSY TEIGEN Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally.
"No," Sunny answered.
"Me neither," Violet said, "but...
LEMONY SNICKET Yo no sé si os habréis dado cuenta, pero a menudo las primeras impresiones son absolutamente equiv...
LEMONY SNICKET Hay muchos, muchos tipos de libros en el mundo, lo cual tiene sentido porque hay muchas, muchas clas...
LEMONY SNICKET I haven’t been out driving at this time of night in many years, much less in an unfamiliar area. T...
MICHAEL ZADOORIAN We were literally tearing our hair out at times trying to find this animal.
MICK CLOUT I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, becau...
LEMONY SNICKET Facebook keeps asking whats on my mind, i just keep posting : you wouldnt wanna know dat
OLASOT When someone's been gone a long time, at first you save up all the things you want to tell them. You...
JENNY HAN In the 1970s and 1980s there was so little decent fiction for young people, but we're now in a g...
DAVID MITCHELL Pero un tipo de libro que a casi nadie le gusta leer es un libro sobre leyes. Los libros sobre leyes...
LEMONY SNICKET Así pues, a menos que hayáis sido muy, muy afortunados, sabréis que una buena y larga sesión de ...
LEMONY SNICKET Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
LEMONY SNICKET As I'm sure you know, whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn m...
LEMONY SNICKET Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family...
LEMONY SNICKET Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to...
LEMONY SNICKET I just don't understand it," said Klaus, which was not something he said very often.
Violet nod...
LEMONY SNICKET When someone's been gone a long time, at first you save up all the things you want to tell them. You...
JENNY HAN I cannot tell you how much all of this has meant to us, ... We come out here every night, and we are...
ERIN RUNNION After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more ab...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You know you're living right when you wake up, brush your hair - and confetti falls out!
KATY PERRY Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind will stop thinking about things that I stress ab...
BRITNEY SPEARS Keep building your word-power. Read, read, read. That way you will be able to say what you really fe...
VIKRANT PARSAI The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'...
DR. SEUSS There are going to be a lot of things in that game that are going to keep a lot of players up all ni...
DANIEL KERR ...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circum...
LEMONY SNICKET What are the things that keep me up at night? Anything that would interrupt fund flows.
BRAD RUDERMAN You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.
LEMONY SNICKET The book you read and read well, over and over again, lives in you, becomes your thought and thinkin...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure
LEMONY SNICKET It's a long haul bringing up our children to be good; you have to keep doing that — bring them up ...
ERIK ERIKSON How you lose or keep your hair depends on how wisely you choose your parents.
EDWARD R. NIDA Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
STEVEN WRIGHT Be careful out there. There are things that go bump in the night. Actually, there are things that go...
JOHN LARROQUETTE The book you read and read well, over and over again, lives in you, becomes your thought and thinkin...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Oh all the balding men of the world! Neither, split your hair nor let your hair down instead, get up...
DR HITESH C SHETH An athlete and actor are really two different temperaments, night and day. As an athlete you really ...
CARL LEWIS He was really good. He was in control of the game all night long. You really can't say enough good t...
BRIAN BUCHANAN Naked you are blue like the night in Cuba,
you have vines and stars in your hair,
PABLO NERUDA I stayed up last night and watched the Republican Convention all night long. I watched all of them t...
CASEY STENGEL We've been pulling people out all night (and day) long.
DUKE HART You can't keep the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting i...
SHARON CREECH You cannot keep birds from flying over your head
but you can keep them from building a nest in ...
MARTIN LUTHER It is known all over the world that there are no secrets in the ghetto and as long as you keep those...
FELIX ALEXANDER The world is swirling with so many mysteries and secrets that nobody will ever track down all of the...
LEMONY SNICKET When you're out here alone, contemplating all the things you didn't do and the person you didn't bec...
SARAH OCKLER It's all about who shows up that night and plays ball.
BOB TURCOTTE I love getting ready to do a scene, and thinking about it, and talking about it. But the rest of the...
CASEY AFFLECK All they want to know is, when are they getting out of here. We're prepared to do this all night as ...
ED BUSH You can be all that you want to be.
Keep dreaming and reach out to your dreams.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA She read some things on the Internet and that kind of helped her, fired her up. She just read some t...
BOB JUMPER Those are the little things that add up to making a very unique and worthwhile product for our custo...
BOB HANSMANN I came away saying its a toss-up between Central and Salem. Central says we're going to show you wha...
JASON ROBIE The funny thing about voice over is you can go in in sweatpants and have your hair all messed up, an...
ELIZABETH GILLIES What's the best thing to do if you want to keep your hair when it starts falling out? Put it in a b...
DAVID LETTERMAN I feel sexy when I get out of the tub - your skin is fresh and you've put up your hair without l...
SHANIA TWAIN At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more go...
LEMONY SNICKET Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword
Kit Snicket (a series of un...
LEMONY SNICKET If you have read this far in the chronicle of the Baudelaire orphans - and I certainly hope you have...
LEMONY SNICKET All my stepchildren carried the burden of my fame. Sometimes they would read terrible things about m...
MARILYN MONROE We believe in an aristocracy... Not an aristocracy of power, based on rank or wealth, but an aristoc...
LEMONY SNICKET I feel that when you care about your music, taking risks is something you should do to keep things e...
DRAKE If you keep your thumb over the opening so that just a little trickles out, you can take a shower wi...
DONALD BORDELON Life is about moving forward, and leaving behind people & things that can't keep up.
BJ MORIN Beyond just writing about falling in love and out of love and wanting to do certain things and going...
JOAN JETT Wise with Your Words.

Speak words that support your highest good. Are your thoughts buil...
SUSAN C. YOUNG There speaks the passion and the rebellion that go with red hair. My second wife had red hair. She w...
AGATHA CHRISTIE Well, I've spent a lot of time in your libraries at night," said Ripred.
"You come up and read...
SUZANNE COLLINS Keep me out of your business--and you keep me out of your business.
WILLIE HAYNES Do me a favor - right now, today, start a list of all your crazy obsessions, the things that get you...
JENNIFER MCMAHON Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.
HERB CAEN All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out the...
MARTIN SHORT When you can't fall asleep at night or you keep waking up in the middle of the night, you have a low...
CHRIS MENO If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, she's wearing your best sw...
PAM BROWN It's all about time management. You can actually do a lot of things if you work out your schedule.
AMANDA IZATT You live your life and continue with all of your normal activities. I'll keep you safe," he said ste...
APRILYNNE PIKE Because my hair is curly, I used to do all the straighteners, the Japanese this and the Brazilian th...
CAMILA ALVES Dont envy those who found love fast, they probably closed an eye to many things that you wouldnt and...
AMELIA.W Shaving your head is acceptable. It's when you start wearing toupees and brushing your hair over...
MOBY No matter what your hair looks like once it's wet, it's about embracing it and loving yourse...
KESHIA KNIGHT PULLIAM

More Lemony Snicket

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things ch...
LEMONY SNICKET At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more go...
LEMONY SNICKET With a library it is easier to hope for serendipity than to look for a precise answer.
LEMONY SNICKET There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.
LEMONY SNICKET Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.
LEMONY SNICKET Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they a...
LEMONY SNICKET Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden ...
LEMONY SNICKET Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.
LEMONY SNICKET Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
LEMONY SNICKET The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.
LEMONY SNICKET One of the most difficult things to think about in life is one’s regrets. Something will happen to...
LEMONY SNICKET It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding su...
LEMONY SNICKET There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a li...
LEMONY SNICKET Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, lik...
LEMONY SNICKET Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tr...
LEMONY SNICKET In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing...
LEMONY SNICKET But there are times in this harum-scarum world when figuring out the right thing to do is quite simp...
LEMONY SNICKET Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something
LEMONY SNICKET One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and so...
LEMONY SNICKET Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular in...
LEMONY SNICKET Sometimes words are not enough.
LEMONY SNICKET Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that hav...
LEMONY SNICKET Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a danger...
LEMONY SNICKET A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is...
LEMONY SNICKET If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful v...
LEMONY SNICKET There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into ...
LEMONY SNICKET It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will r...
LEMONY SNICKET When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is tryin...
LEMONY SNICKET A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking b...
LEMONY SNICKET If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
LEMONY SNICKET It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited,...
LEMONY SNICKET It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.
LEMONY SNICKET Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
LEMONY SNICKET Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
LEMONY SNICKET The world is quiet here.
LEMONY SNICKET Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dream...
LEMONY SNICKET Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because yo...
LEMONY SNICKET Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of ho...
LEMONY SNICKET Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you...
LEMONY SNICKET It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who i...
LEMONY SNICKET The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world , you'...
LEMONY SNICKET Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they c...
LEMONY SNICKET Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.
LEMONY SNICKET it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person...
LEMONY SNICKET Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal ...
LEMONY SNICKET Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that th...
LEMONY SNICKET Some of the bravest and most resourceful people in the world have come to bad ends
LEMONY SNICKET The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.
LEMONY SNICKET The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
LEMONY SNICKET A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give ...
LEMONY SNICKET The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman-- it migh...
LEMONY SNICKET People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
LEMONY SNICKET Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyon...
LEMONY SNICKET The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people...
LEMONY SNICKET If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." LEMONY SNICKET Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have t...
LEMONY SNICKET For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into some...
LEMONY SNICKET The world is too quiet without you nearby.
LEMONY SNICKET The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginnin...
LEMONY SNICKET Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.
LEMONY SNICKET Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable...
LEMONY SNICKET A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and...
LEMONY SNICKET Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.
LEMONY SNICKET It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
LEMONY SNICKET Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind...
LEMONY SNICKET To hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope ...
LEMONY SNICKET Blinded following the Blindfolded
LEMONY SNICKET Whenever you are examining someone else's belongings, you are bound to learn many interesting things...
LEMONY SNICKET He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you wh...
LEMONY SNICKET I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hop...
LEMONY SNICKET It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pai...
LEMONY SNICKET You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff.
LEMONY SNICKET It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getti...
LEMONY SNICKET All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.
LEMONY SNICKET I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.
LEMONY SNICKET You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.
LEMONY SNICKET If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part...
LEMONY SNICKET Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally.
"No," Sunny answered.
"Me neither," Violet said, "but...
LEMONY SNICKET It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time ...
LEMONY SNICKET I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
LEMONY SNICKET Yo no sé si os habréis dado cuenta, pero a menudo las primeras impresiones son absolutamente equiv...
LEMONY SNICKET Pero un tipo de libro que a casi nadie le gusta leer es un libro sobre leyes. Los libros sobre leyes...
LEMONY SNICKET Así pues, a menos que hayáis sido muy, muy afortunados, sabréis que una buena y larga sesión de ...
LEMONY SNICKET Hay muchos, muchos tipos de libros en el mundo, lo cual tiene sentido porque hay muchas, muchas clas...
LEMONY SNICKET There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
LEMONY SNICKET There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, ma...
LEMONY SNICKET The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great s...
LEMONY SNICKET They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't under...
LEMONY SNICKET ...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circum...
LEMONY SNICKET What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a w...
LEMONY SNICKET Sometimes, even in the most unfortunate of lives, there will occur a moment or two of good fortune.
LEMONY SNICKET It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited,...
LEMONY SNICKET It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair t...
LEMONY SNICKET One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insati...
LEMONY SNICKET Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they c...
LEMONY SNICKET I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my ...
LEMONY SNICKET I refuse to argue with you, Charles! You're my partner! Your job is to iron my shirts and cook my om...
LEMONY SNICKET Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.
LEMONY SNICKET Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.
LEMONY SNICKET No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what...
LEMONY SNICKET Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece o...
LEMONY SNICKET Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.
LEMONY SNICKET All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now...
LEMONY SNICKET We believe in an aristocracy... Not an aristocracy of power, based on rank or wealth, but an aristoc...
LEMONY SNICKET You write poetry?" Klaus asked.
He had read a lot about poets but had never met one.
"Just...
LEMONY SNICKET Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make -- bombs, for instan...
LEMONY SNICKET Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty...
LEMONY SNICKET There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.
LEMONY SNICKET Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the ...
LEMONY SNICKET Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them
LEMONY SNICKET I think we'll always miss our parents. But I think we can miss them without being miserable all the ...
LEMONY SNICKET We are all told to ignore bullies. It's something they teach you, and they can teach you anything. I...
LEMONY SNICKET It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are r...
LEMONY SNICKET Every new promise was like something heavy I had to carry, with no place to put anything down.
LEMONY SNICKET We weren't friends[...]We were more like jigsaw pieces, each of us part of the same big picture. The...
LEMONY SNICKET ...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.
LEMONY SNICKET Summer seems so cold without you, winter is even colder.
LEMONY SNICKET ...there's nothing wrong with occasionally staring out the window and thinking nonsense, as long as ...
LEMONY SNICKET For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.
LEMONY SNICKET Get out of my way, you cakesniffers!” said a rude, violent, and filthy little girl, shoving the Ba...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I never see you again, and I will l...
LEMONY SNICKET I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person, but it does mean I've...
LEMONY SNICKET I am alone this evening, and I am alone because of a cruel twist of fate, a phrase which here means ...
LEMONY SNICKET The worst surroundings in the world can be tolerated if the people in them are interesting and kind.
LEMONY SNICKET Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with t...
LEMONY SNICKET But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, ...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so clo...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else your co-star, per...
LEMONY SNICKET It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, an...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.
LEMONY SNICKET Desperate times call for desperate measures" is an aphorism which here means "sometimes you need to ...
LEMONY SNICKET In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love t...
LEMONY SNICKET Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, ...
LEMONY SNICKET One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because...
LEMONY SNICKET Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when y...
LEMONY SNICKET Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically ...
LEMONY SNICKET Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, a...
LEMONY SNICKET Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel...
LEMONY SNICKET Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thi...
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat...
LEMONY SNICKET An apocryphal story - the word "apocryphal" here means "obviously untrue" - tells of two people, lon...
LEMONY SNICKET You may want to keep a commonplace book which is a notebook where you can copy parts of books you th...
LEMONY SNICKET Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
LEMONY SNICKET It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happine...
LEMONY SNICKET It is much, much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling ...
LEMONY SNICKET The hallway was lined with numbered doors, odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, an...
LEMONY SNICKET Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes yo...
LEMONY SNICKET It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively....
LEMONY SNICKET I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and a...
LEMONY SNICKET Of course I'm trying to trick you!" Olaf cried. "That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everybody...
LEMONY SNICKET Appearance matters a great deal because you can often tell a lot about people by looking at how they...
LEMONY SNICKET Aha!"

My chaperone looked at me like I should aha! back, but all I could m...
LEMONY SNICKET Various parts of my body told me that in the future they would appreciate it if I slept lying down o...
LEMONY SNICKET There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If...
LEMONY SNICKET It looked like something the Hemlock needed, or a piece of equipment a plumber had left behind. It l...
LEMONY SNICKET But the world did not match the picture in my head, and instead I was with a strange, uncombed perso...
LEMONY SNICKET They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I...
LEMONY SNICKET It felt like the wrong thing to do, standing at the wrong door in the wrong place. We did it anyway....
LEMONY SNICKET Stretched out in front of me was my time as an adult, and then a skeleton, and then nothing except p...
LEMONY SNICKET It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn’t know...
LEMONY SNICKET The map is not the territory.
LEMONY SNICKET I do what I do," I said, "in order to do something else.
LEMONY SNICKET Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.
LEMONY SNICKET You must be all a-tingle with excitement.'
'I guess so,' I said, but I did not feel a-tingle. I...
LEMONY SNICKET I thought maybe if I stared hard enough, I could see the lights of the city I had left so very far b...
LEMONY SNICKET The library was one enormous room, with long, high metal shelves and the perfect quiet that librarie...
LEMONY SNICKET There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap,...
LEMONY SNICKET I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. It is good to brush your teeth when you are angry, becau...
LEMONY SNICKET There was something I was always very good at, however, and that was teaching myself not to be frigh...
LEMONY SNICKET Scolding must be very, very fun, otherwise children would be allowed to do it. It is not because chi...
LEMONY SNICKET So you’re reluctant, I said to myself. Many, many people are reluctant. It’s like having feet. I...
LEMONY SNICKET The children of this world and the adults of this world are in entirely separate boats and only drif...
LEMONY SNICKET A mystery is solved with a story.
LEMONY SNICKET I’m reminded of a book my father used to read me,” she said. “A bunch of elves and things get ...
LEMONY SNICKET You may be right,' she said, a phrase which here meant 'I’m wrong, but I don’t have the courage ...
LEMONY SNICKET Knowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will e...
LEMONY SNICKET There's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of pap...
LEMONY SNICKET Don’t repeat yourself. It’s not only repetitive, it’s redundant, and people have heard it befo...
LEMONY SNICKET They say in every library there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire...
LEMONY SNICKET How clever of you to figure that out,' said a voice at the top of the stairs, and Violet, and Klaus ...
LEMONY SNICKET I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do...
LEMONY SNICKET There is nothing wrong with crying at the end of a long day.
LEMONY SNICKET being skeptical is a good thing for a journalist, because it means you don't completely trust anyone...
LEMONY SNICKET There are people in the world who care about automobiles, and there are people who couldn't care les...
LEMONY SNICKET Perhaps I had been in another world before I was born, and did not remember it, or perhaps I would s...
LEMONY SNICKET There are many mysteries I have never solved, and the hair of my chaperone is perhaps my most curiou...
LEMONY SNICKET It is never seven that you count to, before you do something difficult. It is never at the count of ...
LEMONY SNICKET The three of us stood there for a minute. I don’t know what Stew was thinking, and the filing cabi...
LEMONY SNICKET When you need a haircut, it looks like you have no one to take care of you.
LEMONY SNICKET I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, ...
LEMONY SNICKET They can teach you anything. That doesn't mean you learn it. It doesn't mean you believe it.
LEMONY SNICKET The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they'r...
LEMONY SNICKET I thought the war was a simple matter, with one side good and the other evil. But the more I read, t...
LEMONY SNICKET Complimenting someone in an exaggerated way is known as flattery, and flattery will generally get yo...
LEMONY SNICKET Of course you can trust me," Jake Hix said. "We read the same books.
LEMONY SNICKET It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.
LEMONY SNICKET Nobody should feel pain all by themselves.
LEMONY SNICKET There are some secrets you want to keep to yourself, even if they don't matter. They might only matt...
LEMONY SNICKET It seemed to me that every adult did something terrible sooner or later. And every child, I thought,...
LEMONY SNICKET