I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.

A severed foot is the perfect stocking stuffer.

I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "F**k it. Cut em up."