I like things matching. I have an upright bass, a drum kit and a grand piano that's the same color. I tend to overthink things.

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

One of the things that Teller and I are obsessed with, one of the reasons that we're in magic, is the difference between fantasy and reality.

If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order.

If you like the stuff I do, my chances of liking you go up.

The definition of a stupid thing is something that if you do everything right, you still get hurt. Fire-eating and love are stupid things.