I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster
P.G. Wodehouse
Related I loved Sherlock Holmes when I was younger. So you can imagine how excited I was to discover that Co... ALEXEI SMERTIN There are more important things than finding the murderer. And justice is a fine word, but it is som... AGATHA CHRISTIE I read my first P.G. Wodehouse when I was 12. MALLORY ORTBERG There would be no Sherlock Holmes if it were not for serial publication. MARGARET ATWOOD Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip.
They had gone to bed and were ... UNKNOWN Rest assured," said Hercule Poirot. "I am the best! AGATHA CHRISTIE My remarks are, as always, apt, sound, and to the point. (Hercule Poirot) AGATHA CHRISTIE I always had a soft spot for Sherlock Holmes and used to imagine helping him out. CATHERINE JINKS Use your little grey cells mon ami" (Hercule Poirot in 'The Mysterious Affair At Styles') - AGATHA CHRISTIE There was a 16-year-old arrested which was really unfortunate, but it was not what we expected for a... CAPT. ALLAN ELKINS Everyone likes talking about himself. - Hercule Poirot AGATHA CHRISTIE Isn't it lovely to know that even the great Sherlock Holmes, the quirky and genius Sherlock Holm... NATALIE DORMER The first thing that put me on the map was my Sherlock Holmes novel. NICHOLAS MEYER I would not be happy unless I had some regular work to do every day and I imagine that I will always... ELEANOR ROOSEVELT I am inclined to think--” said I. “I should do so,” Sherlock Holmes remarked impatiently. I be... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE The only writer who gives me unfeigned pleasure is P.G. Wodehouse. And even him I find a bit heavy. ... MARTIN AMIS A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n... P.G. WODEHOUSE There was only one thing about his own appearance which really pleased Hercule Poirot, and that was ... AGATHA CHRISTIE If people ask, 'Are you Sherlock Holmes?', it's horribly naff, but I say, 'I'm n... BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH Out there, there is some kinda genius person... I am talking about Sherlock Holmes... First very fas... DEYTH BANGER By growth I mean growth in how we're going to guard. Growth in how our players handle themselves on ... BILL CARTWRIGHT What I feel is that if one has got to have a murder actually happening in one's house, one might as ... AGATHA CHRISTIE You want beauty,” said Hercule Poirot. “Beauty at any price. For me, it is truth I want. Always ... AGATHA CHRISTIE And then I thought that I had to be like Sherlock Holmes and I had to detach my mind at will to a re... MARK HADDON I did read Sherlock Holmes as a boy but I never thought for a moment that I'd ever write about Doyle... JULIAN BARNES Hercule Poirot addressed himself to the task of keeping his moustaches out of the soup. AGATHA CHRISTIE Ah, but life is like that! It does not permit you to arrange and order it as you will. It will not p... AGATHA CHRISTIE Sure, some find gunning down unsuspecting, innocent animals to be a real hoot. I mean, for Christ sa... CHASE BROOKS There it was: a full confession. Sherlock Holmes had done it again, and as I marveled at my devastat... PAUL AUSTER Her cuisine is limited but she has as good an idea of breakfast as a Scotchwoman."[Sh... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I loved Sherlock Holmes as a kid, but I remember being disappointed when he'd come up with these... PETER WEIR I abhour the dull routine of existence" - Sherlock Holmes ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I was fifteen when I first met Sherlock Holmes, fifteen years old with my nose in a book as I walked... LAURIE R. KING Every Sherlock Holmes story has at least one marvelous scene. REX STOUT I had always been a huge Sherlock Holmes fan. DAVID GRANN I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than ret... EMO PHILIPS My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people do not know. ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE When Dr. Mortimer had finished reading this singular narrative he pushed his spectacles up on his fo... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I have been very interested in the number of kids who have read the Sherlock Holmes books after read... LAURIE R. KING Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however... DOUGLAS ADAMS I loved Enso Roshi’s teachings. I loved learning about life. I loved life. It was a good thing to ... T. SCOTT MCLEOD He's bound to have done something ,” Nobby repeated. In this he was echoing the P... TERRY PRATCHETT It takes more than a printed notice to keep you from reality. . . . We've only one life to live. AGATHA CHRISTIE It wasn't just that Hilliard was throwing hard, he was putting everything at the knees. If he stays ... DALE BARNES The past and the present are within my field of inquiry, but what a man may do in the future is a ha... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there really is some goodness here in our world. But if goodness existed, t... ERICA SEHYUN SONG I must thank you,' said Sherlock Holmes, 'for calling my attention to a case which certainly present... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I don't think I look at myself as all-around because we go as a team. If I had to pick out a point, ... ERIN DETHLOFF I was certain I told you the king was coming.” She planted her hands on her hips. “Yo... JILL BARNETT I am lost without my Boswell.[Sherlock Holmes on Dr. Watson.] ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE As Sherlock Holmes would say, this is a one-pipe mystery. In the time it would take to smoke one pip... GRIGORI CHKHARTISHVILI I am all that there is of the most real. AGATHA CHRISTIE I grew up in Des Moines. My dad had a house full of books, things like P.G. Wodehouse books and '... BILL BRYSON I think it's very unfortunate that [he] is trying to shift some blame for his own criminal conduct. DONALD WATKINS The man might have died in a fit; but then the jewels are missing," mused the Inspector, "Ha! I have... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE As far as murder, and murdering him, someone murdered my son; I don't think it has anything to do wi... CHRISTOPHER WALLACE Tell your master that if there were as many devils at Worms as
tiles on its roofs, I would enter. HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW There was some talk of him coming back this year, but he decided to stay down there because some col... JASON ROBINSON I want to be this generation's Sherlock Holmes. That is, the man to solve first world problems. J.R. RIM Dying in our sleep won’t solve anything in the long run, even if a nihilist would argue it’s com... ANN AGUIRRE At the small table, sitting very upright, was one of the ugliest old ladies he had ever seen. It was... AGATHA CHRISTIE You've a pretty good nerve," said Ratchett. "Will twenty thousand dollars tempt you?" It ... AGATHA CHRISTIE But I don't doubt it will be essentially the same type of crime. The details may be different, but t... AGATHA CHRISTIE It is as impossible for man to demonstrate the existence of God as it would be for even Sherlock Hol... FREDERICK BUECHNER My mother didn't let me see color films. I saw a lot of black-and-white films. The first time I ... LIEV SCHREIBER How often do we miss the serendipitous beauty of the many facets of the people
who populate our worl... GAIL PURSELL ELLIOTT Whenever I go to England, I'm on pilgrimage. I walk the countryside around Eastbourne because th... LAURIE R. KING Personally, I would like to see a department store. Nordstrom would be fabulous. I think there is so... ELIZABETH MORENO While we have made impressive efforts at achieving results to tackle this epidemic ... we seem to be... HANS TROEDSSON Mum worked as a secretary for Orson Welles for what sounded like a very miserable year. Her brother ... MARTIN CLUNES It is all in the way of professional experience. - Sherlock Holmes ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I do feel for him. It's an unfortunate time for him to go down, but if he has to, better to do it no... TROY MURPHY Trains are relentless things, aren't they, Monsieur Poirot? People are murdered and die, but they go... AGATHA CHRISTIE Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not d... CHARLES DICKENS Naturally, since I myself am a writer, I do not wish the ordinary reader to read no modern books. Bu... C.S. LEWIS I think very much of the people, as an old friend said he thought of woman. He said when he lost his... ABRAHAM LINCOLN How the hell do you think I feel?" I don't want to end up inside a woman!" He paused. "Well, at leas... KAREN CHANCE But ... but what if I hit you?” A snort. “You’re not going to hit me.” “How do y... JULIE KAGAWA He's playing very well. If he works on his putting, he could catch fire at the end of the year, and ... BUDDY ALEXANDER It's quite exciting," said Sherlock Holmes, with a yawn. ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE The cherry tree myth is just that. When I do lectures I bring an old hatchet and say we just found t... DEAN NORTON When I started to draw, most of my influences were from other painters and illustrators, so I was dr... ALAN LEE With the rule as it is at the moment he is unsignable, which seems a little harsh on him because I w... DARIO GRADI One might expect that the families of murder victims would be showered with sympathy and support, em... ERIC SCHLOSSER And when Jace was ten years old, Valentine killed him. Michael, I mean." "That sounds like... CASSANDRA CLARE He said it would be the best situation for me, because (starter) John Lynch is so old (34) and they ... TYLER EVERETT What he meant, of course, was that there would always be wars, that they were as easy to stop as gla... KURT VONNEGUT I have so many strong opinions on the entertainment industry, but if I'm in a deli somewhere, an... ANDY KINDLER I care," he said in a trembling voice. "I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it... AIMEE CARTER In particular I may mention Sophocles the poet, who was once asked in my presence, How do you feel a... PLATO In particular I may mention Sophocles the poet, who was once asked in my presence, ''How do you feel... PLATO Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it. ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE ...Recognising, as I do, that you are the second highest expert in Europe--" "Indeed, sir! May ... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I thought Kevin played well, particularly since it was his first substantial action of the year. He ... CAMERON RAST If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he wou... ROBERT GREEN INGERSOLL It's just hard to imagine President Bush, knowing this woman as well as he claims to know her, would... BILL SAMMON [But] he could never take an audience seriously. If he took their advice, what they liked, that woul... BARRY MILES Today's payslip has more deductions than a Sherlock Holmes novel. RAYMOND CVIKOTA You say that your fare told you that he was a detective?" "Yes, he did." "When did he say ... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE The collar had restrained his winds but not killed them. They uncoiled from behind the shadows, read... LISA MANTCHEV
More P.G. Wodehouse
If he had a mind, there was something on it. P.G. WODEHOUSE Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. P.G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft... P.G. WODEHOUSE If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi... P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when". P.G. WODEHOUSE Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt... P.G. WODEHOUSE Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind. P.G. WODEHOUSE He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more... P.G. WODEHOUSE And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need. P.G. WODEHOUSE Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant... P.G. WODEHOUSE He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom. P.G. WODEHOUSE I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa... P.G. WODEHOUSE I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments. P.G. WODEHOUSE Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove. P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b... P.G. WODEHOUSE ...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that. P.G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron... 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WODEHOUSE There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature. P.G. WODEHOUSE The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair. P.G. WODEHOUSE Employers are like horses — they require management. P.G. WODEHOUSE The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. P.G. WODEHOUSE From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess... P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments. P.G. WODEHOUSE The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in ... P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hou... P.G. WODEHOUSE Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out? P.G. WODEHOUSE I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and ... P.G. 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P.G. WODEHOUSE The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide. P.G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th... P.G. WODEHOUSE There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of... P.G. WODEHOUSE Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself cle... P.G. WODEHOUSE Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the s... P.G. WODEHOUSE Half a league Half a league Half a league onward With a hey-nonny-nonny And a ho... P.G. WODEHOUSE Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing f... P.G. WODEHOUSE I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers." "I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said. "Th... P.G. WODEHOUSE Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous. P.G. WODEHOUSE [A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothin... P.G. WODEHOUSE The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what ha... P.G. WODEHOUSE Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had cr... P.G. WODEHOUSE It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to b... P.G. WODEHOUSE A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more. P.G. WODENHOUSE It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s... P.G. WODHOUSE Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops ... P. G. WODEHOUSE It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thou... P. G. WODEHOUSE I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I... P. G. WODEHOUSE Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks. P. G. WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to... P. G. WODEHOUSE Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, b... P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to l... P. G. WODEHOUSE He was white and shaken, like a dry martini. P. G. WODEHOUSE She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel. P. G. WODEHOUSE I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit. P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t... P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ... P. G. WODEHOUSE I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. P. G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. P. G. WODEHOUSE The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli... P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. P. G. WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things. P. G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th... P. G. WODEHOUSE Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriora... P. G. WODEHOUSE Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him. P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf, like measles, should be caught young. P. G. WODEHOUSE Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,... P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ... P. G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron... P. G. WODEHOUSE At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati... P. G. WODEHOUSE A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s... P. G. WODEHOUSE If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled. P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer, as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to ... P. G. WODEHOUSE He virtually lives on fish P. G. WODEHOUSE The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor. P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him. P. G. WODEHOUSE He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg. P. G. WODEHOUSE The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I li... P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. P. G. WODEHOUSE I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea. P. G. WODEHOUSE "Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first,... P. G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when." P. G. WODEHOUSE If I had had to choose between him and a cockroach as a companion for a walking-tour, the cockroach ... P. G. WODEHOUSE Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress rou... P. G. WODEHOUSE Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thou... P. G. WODEHOUSE New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to... P. G. WODEHOUSE She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were ... P. G. WODEHOUSE Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse. P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE I always advise people never to give advice. P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ... P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha... P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th... P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f... P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things. P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to... P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t... P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE