I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster


P.G. Wodehouse

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I loved Sherlock Holmes when I was younger. So you can imagine how excited I was to discover that Co...
ALEXEI SMERTIN
There are more important things than finding the murderer. And justice is a fine word, but it is som...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
I read my first P.G. Wodehouse when I was 12.
MALLORY ORTBERG
There would be no Sherlock Holmes if it were not for serial publication.
MARGARET ATWOOD
Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were ...
UNKNOWN
Rest assured," said Hercule Poirot. "I am the best!
AGATHA CHRISTIE
My remarks are, as always, apt, sound, and to the point. (Hercule Poirot)
AGATHA CHRISTIE
I always had a soft spot for Sherlock Holmes and used to imagine helping him out.
CATHERINE JINKS
Use your little grey cells mon ami"
(Hercule Poirot in 'The Mysterious Affair At Styles')
- AGATHA CHRISTIE
There was a 16-year-old arrested which was really unfortunate, but it was not what we expected for a...
CAPT. ALLAN ELKINS
Everyone likes talking about himself. - Hercule Poirot
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Isn't it lovely to know that even the great Sherlock Holmes, the quirky and genius Sherlock Holm...
NATALIE DORMER
The first thing that put me on the map was my Sherlock Holmes novel.
NICHOLAS MEYER
I would not be happy unless I had some regular work to do every day and I imagine that I will always...
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
I am inclined to think--” said I. “I should do so,” Sherlock Holmes remarked impatiently. I be...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
The only writer who gives me unfeigned pleasure is P.G. Wodehouse. And even him I find a bit heavy. ...
MARTIN AMIS
A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There was only one thing about his own appearance which really pleased Hercule Poirot, and that was ...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
If people ask, 'Are you Sherlock Holmes?', it's horribly naff, but I say, 'I'm n...
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
Out there, there is some kinda genius person... I am talking about Sherlock Holmes... First very fas...
DEYTH BANGER
By growth I mean growth in how we're going to guard. Growth in how our players handle themselves on ...
BILL CARTWRIGHT
What I feel is that if one has got to have a murder actually happening in one's house, one might as ...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
You want beauty,” said Hercule Poirot. “Beauty at any price. For me, it is truth I want. Always ...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
And then I thought that I had to be like Sherlock Holmes and I had to detach my mind at will to a re...
MARK HADDON
I did read Sherlock Holmes as a boy but I never thought for a moment that I'd ever write about Doyle...
JULIAN BARNES
Hercule Poirot addressed himself to the task of keeping his moustaches out of the soup.
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Ah, but life is like that! It does not permit you to arrange and order it as you will. It will not p...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Sure, some find gunning down unsuspecting, innocent animals to be a real hoot. I mean, for Christ sa...
CHASE BROOKS
There it was: a full confession. Sherlock Holmes had done it again, and as I marveled at my devastat...
PAUL AUSTER
Her cuisine is limited but she has as good an idea of breakfast as a Scotchwoman."

[Sh...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I loved Sherlock Holmes as a kid, but I remember being disappointed when he'd come up with these...
PETER WEIR
I abhour the dull routine of existence" - Sherlock Holmes
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I was fifteen when I first met Sherlock Holmes, fifteen years old with my nose in a book as I walked...
LAURIE R. KING
Every Sherlock Holmes story has at least one marvelous scene.
REX STOUT
I had always been a huge Sherlock Holmes fan.
DAVID GRANN
I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than ret...
EMO PHILIPS
My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people do not know.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
When Dr. Mortimer had finished reading this singular narrative he pushed his spectacles up on his fo...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I have been very interested in the number of kids who have read the Sherlock Holmes books after read...
LAURIE R. KING
Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
I loved Enso Roshi’s teachings. I loved learning about life. I loved life. It was a good thing to ...
T. SCOTT MCLEOD
He's bound to have done something,” Nobby repeated.

In this he was echoing the P...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It takes more than a printed notice to keep you from reality. . . . We've only one life to live.
AGATHA CHRISTIE
It wasn't just that Hilliard was throwing hard, he was putting everything at the knees. If he stays ...
DALE BARNES
The past and the present are within my field of inquiry, but what a man may do in the future is a ha...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there really is some goodness here in our world. But if goodness existed, t...
ERICA SEHYUN SONG
I must thank you,' said Sherlock Holmes, 'for calling my attention to a case which certainly present...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I don't think I look at myself as all-around because we go as a team. If I had to pick out a point, ...
ERIN DETHLOFF
I was certain I told you the king was coming.”

She planted her hands on her hips. “Yo...
JILL BARNETT
I am lost without my Boswell.

[Sherlock Holmes on Dr. Watson.]
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
As Sherlock Holmes would say, this is a one-pipe mystery. In the time it would take to smoke one pip...
GRIGORI CHKHARTISHVILI
I am all that there is of the most real.
AGATHA CHRISTIE
I grew up in Des Moines. My dad had a house full of books, things like P.G. Wodehouse books and '...
BILL BRYSON
I think it's very unfortunate that [he] is trying to shift some blame for his own criminal conduct.
DONALD WATKINS
The man might have died in a fit; but then the jewels are missing," mused the Inspector, "Ha! I have...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
As far as murder, and murdering him, someone murdered my son; I don't think it has anything to do wi...
CHRISTOPHER WALLACE
Tell your master that if there were as many devils at Worms as tiles on its roofs, I would enter.
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
There was some talk of him coming back this year, but he decided to stay down there because some col...
JASON ROBINSON
I want to be this generation's Sherlock Holmes. That is, the man to solve first world problems.
J.R. RIM
Dying in our sleep won’t solve anything in the long run, even if a nihilist would argue it’s com...
ANN AGUIRRE
At the small table, sitting very upright, was one of the ugliest old ladies he had ever seen. It was...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
You've a pretty good nerve," said Ratchett. "Will twenty thousand dollars tempt you?"

It ...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
But I don't doubt it will be essentially the same type of crime. The details may be different, but t...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
It is as impossible for man to demonstrate the existence of God as it would be for even Sherlock Hol...
FREDERICK BUECHNER
My mother didn't let me see color films. I saw a lot of black-and-white films. The first time I ...
LIEV SCHREIBER
How often do we miss the serendipitous beauty of the many facets of the people who populate our worl...
GAIL PURSELL ELLIOTT
Whenever I go to England, I'm on pilgrimage. I walk the countryside around Eastbourne because th...
LAURIE R. KING
Personally, I would like to see a department store. Nordstrom would be fabulous. I think there is so...
ELIZABETH MORENO
While we have made impressive efforts at achieving results to tackle this epidemic ... we seem to be...
HANS TROEDSSON
Mum worked as a secretary for Orson Welles for what sounded like a very miserable year. Her brother ...
MARTIN CLUNES
It is all in the way of professional experience.
- Sherlock Holmes
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I do feel for him. It's an unfortunate time for him to go down, but if he has to, better to do it no...
TROY MURPHY
Trains are relentless things, aren't they, Monsieur Poirot? People are murdered and die, but they go...
AGATHA CHRISTIE
Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not d...
CHARLES DICKENS
Naturally, since I myself am a writer, I do not wish the ordinary reader to read no modern books. Bu...
C.S. LEWIS
I think very much of the people, as an old friend said he thought of woman. He said when he lost his...
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
How the hell do you think I feel?" I don't want to end up inside a woman!" He paused. "Well, at leas...
KAREN CHANCE
But ... but what if I hit you?”
A snort. “You’re not going to hit me.”
“How do y...
JULIE KAGAWA
He's playing very well. If he works on his putting, he could catch fire at the end of the year, and ...
BUDDY ALEXANDER
It's quite exciting," said Sherlock Holmes, with a yawn.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
The cherry tree myth is just that. When I do lectures I bring an old hatchet and say we just found t...
DEAN NORTON
When I started to draw, most of my influences were from other painters and illustrators, so I was dr...
ALAN LEE
With the rule as it is at the moment he is unsignable, which seems a little harsh on him because I w...
DARIO GRADI
One might expect that the families of murder victims would be showered with sympathy and support, em...
ERIC SCHLOSSER
And when Jace was ten years old, Valentine killed him. Michael,
I mean."
"That sounds like...
CASSANDRA CLARE
He said it would be the best situation for me, because (starter) John Lynch is so old (34) and they ...
TYLER EVERETT
What he meant, of course, was that there would always be wars, that they were as easy to stop as gla...
KURT VONNEGUT
I have so many strong opinions on the entertainment industry, but if I'm in a deli somewhere, an...
ANDY KINDLER
I care," he said in a trembling voice. "I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it...
AIMEE CARTER
In particular I may mention Sophocles the poet, who was once asked in my presence, How do you feel a...
PLATO
In particular I may mention Sophocles the poet, who was once asked in my presence, ''How do you feel...
PLATO
Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
...Recognising, as I do, that you are the second highest expert in Europe--"
"Indeed, sir! May ...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
I thought Kevin played well, particularly since it was his first substantial action of the year. He ...
CAMERON RAST
If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he wou...
ROBERT GREEN INGERSOLL
It's just hard to imagine President Bush, knowing this woman as well as he claims to know her, would...
BILL SAMMON
[But] he could never take an audience seriously. If he took their advice, what they liked, that woul...
BARRY MILES
Today's payslip has more deductions than a Sherlock Holmes novel.
RAYMOND CVIKOTA
You say that your fare told you that he was a detective?"
"Yes, he did."
"When did he say ...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
The collar had restrained his winds but not killed them. They uncoiled from behind the shadows, read...
LISA MANTCHEV

More P.G. Wodehouse

If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-p...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap re...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Mike’s statement that he wanted to get up early and have a ride had been received by Psmith, with ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
How long Archibald slept he could not have said. He woke some hours later with a vague feeling that ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
No fair-minded girl objects to a certain tinge of jealousy. Kept within proper bounds, it is a compl...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixe...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that sh...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a nor...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Employers are like horses — they require management.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hou...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractiv...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night - I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to reme...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is nothing an author today has to guard himself more carefully against than the Saga Habit. Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb tr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.

'Go to hell!' said Bill.

'Right-...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do no...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literatu...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence les...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The coops were finished. They were not masterpieces, and I have seen chickens pause before them in d...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
All nice girls sketch a little.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Have you ever seen a man, woman, or child who wasn’t eating an egg or just going to eat an egg or ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat."

Beale's narra...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself cle...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Half a league
Half a league
Half a league onward
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a ho...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing f...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers."
"I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said.
"Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
[A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothin...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what ha...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had cr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
P.G. WODENHOUSE
It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODHOUSE
Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, b...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to l...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriora...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Success comes to a writer, as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He virtually lives on fish
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I li...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P. G. WODEHOUSE
If I had had to choose between him and a cockroach as a companion for a walking-tour, the cockroach ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress rou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE