FastSaying

I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers."
"I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said.
"Then, for a beginner," I said, "you do it dashed well.


P.G. Wodehouse

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Well, I’m not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I’d rather stay down here and rot."
"Foreve...
CASSANDRA CLARE I lied," I said. ...
"I know it," he said.
"Then do something about it. Do anything, just ...
WILLIAM FAULKNER Do not do that again," he said stiffly.
"Don't kiss me back then," I retorted.
He stared a...
RICHELLE MEAD Well I'm not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I'd rather stay down here and rot."
"Forever?" s...
CASSANDRA CLARE It's a secret code," said Calvin. "Girls are not not like boys. If a boy wants to kill you, he says ...
LENORE LOOK How old are you, anyway?' she asked, squinting at him.
There was a pause. At last he said, 'Why...
NATALIE BABBITT Then why did you ask me?' it screamed.
'I just wanted something to talk to,' said Marvin.
DOUGLAS ADAMS Said the little boy, Sometimes I drop my spoon.
Said the little old man, I do that too.
The li...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN The Little Boy and the Old Man

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Sai...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN So you're always honest," I said.
"Aren't you?"
"No," I told him. "I'm not."
"Well, t...
SARAH DESSEN Cold,” he said, pressing a finger to my pale wrist.
“Not cold so much as underoxygenated,�...
JOHN GREEN He's not a child!" said Sirius impatiently.

"He's not an adult either!" said Mrs. Weasley...
J.K. ROWLING I always thought they were fabulous monsters!" said the Unicorn. "Is it alive?"
"It can talk," ...
LEWIS CARROLL Are you not thirsty?" said the Lion.
"I am dying of thirst," said Jill.
"Then drink," said...
C.S. LEWIS I love swimming"
"I know," I said.
"I love swimming," he said again. He was quiet for a li...
BENJAMIN ALIRE SáENZ Welcome, Prince,' said Aslan. 'Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?' C.S. LEWIS There is a tiger in my room,' said Frances.
'Did he bite you?' said Father.
'No,' said Fra...
RUSSELL HOBAN Thank you,” I said, turning around a little so I could talk to him. “You’re a good friend.”<...
MONICA ALEXANDER I was at a dinner party many years ago,sitting along from Tom Stoppard, who in those days smoked not...
STEPHEN FRY I work at a retirement home. I'm a CNA.”
“What's that?”
“It stands for Certified...
RICHARD PAUL EVANS Do you have a Wish?' he asked, referring to this organization, The Genie Foundation, which is in the...
JOHN GREEN You said to lean on your arm
And I am leaning
You said to trust in your love
And I a...
MAYA ANGELOU He's not in a very good mood," said Luke, pausing in front of a closed door. "I shut him up in Freak...
CASSANDRA CLARE ...And where's Margaret Pier? I know she's not dead, even if she's almost as old as I am and ...
HELEN HUDSON Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Oh, for the Angel's sake. Look, if there's no other way of getting out of...
CASSANDRA CLARE You said he was a perfectly adequate lover."

"Perfectly adequate? I dont suppose I ever s...
AMY ANDREWS I am a man, and men do not drink pink drinks. Now, be gone, woman, and fetch me something brown." Ja...
CASSANDRA CLARE The poet dreams of the classroom

I dreamed
I stood up in class
And I said aloud...
MARY OLIVER Please, Katsa," he finally said. "At least talk to me".
She swung around to face him. "What it ...
KRISTIN CASHORE Look, why don't you go talk to Ron about all this?" Harry asked.
"Well, I would, but he's alway...
J.K. ROWLING You talk more when you're nervous," he said, still standing close to her.
"No i don't. That's a...
MICHELE JAFFE I said I fell down.
Ah. The ground bloodied your nose, split yer lip, and punched ye in th' ey...
TAMORA PIERCE Valkyrie made a face. "Bloody vampires."
Ryan sat forward. "That was a vampire? That guy who lo...
DEREK LANDY You're Nephilim," he said. "The Clave owes us protection in these circumstances."
...
"I d...
CASSANDRA CLARE I am no king, and I am no lord,
And I am no soldier at-arms," said he.
"I'm none but a har...
PETER S. BEAGLE Then you're mine," she said in desperation. "Then you belong to me."

"With everything I a...
CHRISTINE FEEHAN You have no idea of what you are doing to me,” he warned.
She smiled. “Are you trying to fr...
AMANDA QUICK I don't know," I said. "What else did you do for your first eighteen years?"
"Like I said," he ...
SARAH DESSEN Remember when I said all guys talk to their friends about sex?
Well, we do.
But no guy tal...
EMMA CHASE It was not the thought that I was so unloved that froze me. I had taught myself to do without love.<...
KURT VONNEGUT JR. I talk in a daze, I walk in a maze
I cannot get out, said the starling
VLADIMIR NABOKOV But I talk to you as I talk to my own soul," he said, turning me to face him. He reached up and cupp...
DIANA GABALDON You went shopping with Rebecca?'
'Yep,' I said, pulling the shoes out of the box.
His br...
KARINA HALLE I don't think..." then you shouldn't talk, said the Hatter.
LEWIS CARROLL [Jem] 'It will help you sleep.'
'All I’ve been doing is sleeping!' [Tessa]
'And very amu...
CASSANDRA CLARE The blood of Heaven binds you," said the Queen. "Blood calls to blood, under the skin. But love and ...
CASSANDRA CLARE I can't believe you know someone named Freaky Pete," said Simon.
"I know alot of people," said ...
CASSANDRA CLARE Just those three words, said and meant. I love you.

They were quite hopeless. He said it ...
JOHN FOWLES But you're dead,' said Harry.
'Oh, yes,' said Dumbledore matter-of-factly.
'Then... am I d...
J.K. ROWLING He was talking about the sign that said 'THE COMPLICATED FUTILITY OF IGNORANCE.'
'All knew was ...
KURT VONNEGUT It’s complicated,” I said in defense, hands going up to show surrender.

“Talk slowl...
LAURA KREITZER I can't go to Amsterdam. One of my doctors thinks it's a bad idea."
He was quiet for a second. ...
JOHN GREEN And recite to them the news of Abraham
When he said to his father and his people: What do you ...
QURAN I just can't believe that life would give us to each other," he said, "and then take it back."
...
RAINBOW ROWELL Daniel, he said. I would have you follow me.

Master!....I will fight for you to the end!....
ELIZABETH GEORGE SPEARE The Queen‘s smile was wide and terrible. “What if I told you she could be freed by a kiss?” CASSANDRA CLARE When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to your...
A.A. MILNE Where's Simon?" Clary interrupted.

Isabelle wobbled. "He's a rat," she said darkly.
...
CASSANDRA CLARE When I said yes, i will
When I said no, I don't
When I said I have, I give
When I s...
SAMINU KANTI No milk," I said.

"No milk," said my sister.

I watched my dad think about this...
NEIL GAIMAN Got your text,” he said when I climbed out. “How much did it hurt?”
“Not at all,” I s...
KELLEY ARMSTRONG Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?'
'Hmm . . . What do you think, Harry?' said Luna, l...
J.K. ROWLING I couldn't get through this last book."

"He didn't even just skip ahead to read the sex s...
KELLEY ARMSTRONG I am concussed,' I announced, entirely sure of my self-diagnosis.
''You're fine,' Takumi said a...
JOHN GREEN I would give you a laugh every day if I could,” he said.

“I would do the same for you...
THERESA ROMAIN As he was
forced to tell his father more than once, “I said I’d fight for my mother’s
G.A. AIKEN How are the Indians on cats?"
"I never saw one. Plenty of dogs, though."
"They eat the dog...
PHILIPP MEYER Not long," Zia said. "I wanted to talk to you before [Carter and Amos] come back."
[Sadie] ra...
RICK RIORDAN Rory's not my pet dog!' I [Amy] yelled at the Doctor.
'Well, that would be better.' He was trul...
JAMES GOSS I just can’t believe that life would give us to each other,’ he said, ‘and then take it back.�...
RAINBOW ROWELL When, some months later, Zoltan emailed me about his decision to run for president, I immediately ca...
MARK O'CONNELL Let's look for dragons, I said to Pooh.
Yes, let's, said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the rive...
A.A. MILNE Tenderness and Rot

Tenderness and rot
share a border.
And rot is an
aggres...
KAY RYAN Wolves eat coyotes," Gordon said[...] If he weren't an old man, I had some rude things I could have ...
PATRICIA BRIGGS Stomp stomp.
Whirr.
Pleased to be of service.
Shut up.
Thank you.
Stomp s...
DOUGLAS ADAMS I took in a breath. "What's the one thing you'd do," I asked. "if you could do anything?"
Pass,...
SARAH DESSEN Okay," he said. He took a breath. "What would you do, if you could do anything?"
I took a step ...
SARAH DESSEN I didn't want it to be this way."
"Yes, you did," she said, "because it is."
"I just want...
CANDACE BUSHNELL Ophelia,' said the boy. He said it very quietly. She didn't like the way he said that at all. He sou...
KAREN FOXLEE I am Detective Inspector Me. This is my partner, Detective Her."
The traffic warden frowned. "H...
DEREK LANDY And Agathon said, It is probable, Socrates, that I knew nothing of what I had said.

And y...
PLATO "When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to you...
A. A. MILNE I daren't come and drink," said Jill.
Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion.
Oh dea...
C.S. LEWIS Honestly," I said.
What?"
Come on. You have to admit it's sort of ridiculous."
What i...
SARAH DESSEN You know, sometimes I think this is just not it,” he said, his glasses flashing from the early nig...
DANIEL AMORY I’d kiss you, too, if I was closer.”(claire)
“I wouldn’t,” Michael said. “I don’t...
RACHEL CAINE What is it, Angel?" she said, starting up. "Have they come for me?"

"Yes, dearest," he sa...
THOMAS HARDY I know when I'm awake and when I'm asleep," Ronan Lynch said.
Adam Parrish, curled over himself...
MAGGIE STIEFVATER She's going to do nothing but try to trick information out of me that I shouldn't be giving her, Mac...
JIM BUTCHER Jem shook his head. "You bit de Quincey" he said. "You fool. He's a VAMPIRE"

"I had no ch...
CASSANDRA CLARE Do you know a cure for me?"

"Why yes," he said, "I know a cure for everything. Salt water...
KAREN BLIXEN The others can’t see me,” said the little ghost.

“I know,” I said. “My name’s...
KERSTIN GIER It wasn’t sexy," he said.
“It was a little sexy,” Simon said.
He felt much better, ...
CASSANDRA CLARE I wished it was raining," he said.
"I don't need the rain," I said. "I need you.
BENJAMIN ALIRE SáENZ I hope you don't really see yourself that way," I said.
He turned to look at me and narrowed hi...
KATIE ALENDER Bridgeport?" Said I.
"Camelot," Said he.
MARK TWAIN (Frances has gotten out of bed again and come to her parents' room...)
'How can the wind have a...
RUSSELL HOBAN Oh, God," Lori said without looking at me, "what are they thinking, leaving the two of us alone out ...
JENNIFER ECHOLS I am Shiloh, whose box you stole. Your godmother's sickness lies in your own keeping, you can heal h...
A.E. COPPARD You've a pretty good nerve," said Ratchett. "Will twenty thousand dollars tempt you?"

It ...
AGATHA CHRISTIE

More P.G. Wodehouse

If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft...
P.G. WODEHOUSE If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi...
P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
P.G. WODEHOUSE Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
P.G. WODEHOUSE He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
P.G. WODEHOUSE And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. WODEHOUSE I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE ...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P.G. WODEHOUSE There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-p...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap re...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Mike’s statement that he wanted to get up early and have a ride had been received by Psmith, with ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE How long Archibald slept he could not have said. He woke some hours later with a vague feeling that ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE No fair-minded girl objects to a certain tinge of jealousy. Kept within proper bounds, it is a compl...
P.G. WODEHOUSE No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixe...
P.G. WODEHOUSE What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
P.G. WODEHOUSE At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that sh...
P.G. WODEHOUSE In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum...
P.G. WODEHOUSE At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a nor...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar...
P.G. WODEHOUSE That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Employers are like horses — they require management.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.
P.G. WODEHOUSE From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess...
P.G. WODEHOUSE She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hou...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?
P.G. WODEHOUSE I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed...
P.G. WODEHOUSE If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. WODEHOUSE What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
P.G. WODEHOUSE I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some...
P.G. WODEHOUSE But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractiv...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night - I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE ...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to reme...
P.G. WODEHOUSE You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P.G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P.G. WODEHOUSE There is nothing an author today has to guard himself more carefully against than the Saga Habit. Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb tr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.

'Go to hell!' said Bill.

'Right-...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...
P.G. WODEHOUSE -'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do no...
P.G. WODEHOUSE This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literatu...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence les...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The coops were finished. They were not masterpieces, and I have seen chickens pause before them in d...
P.G. WODEHOUSE All nice girls sketch a little.
P.G. WODEHOUSE Have you ever seen a man, woman, or child who wasn’t eating an egg or just going to eat an egg or ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat."

Beale's narra...
P.G. WODEHOUSE He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.
P.G. WODEHOUSE The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
P.G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself cle...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Half a league
Half a league
Half a league onward
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a ho...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing f...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
P.G. WODEHOUSE [A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothin...
P.G. WODEHOUSE The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what ha...
P.G. WODEHOUSE Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had cr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE A little bit added to what you've already got gives you a little bit more.
P.G. WODENHOUSE It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODHOUSE Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P. G. WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, b...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to l...
P. G. WODEHOUSE He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
P. G. WODEHOUSE She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
P. G. WODEHOUSE I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P. G. WODEHOUSE The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things.
P. G. WODEHOUSE It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriora...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P. G. WODEHOUSE At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P. G. WODEHOUSE A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P. G. WODEHOUSE If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE Success comes to a writer, as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE He virtually lives on fish
P. G. WODEHOUSE The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor.
P. G. WODEHOUSE To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. WODEHOUSE The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I li...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
P. G. WODEHOUSE "Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P. G. WODEHOUSE If I had had to choose between him and a cockroach as a companion for a walking-tour, the cockroach ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress rou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE Flowers are happy things.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE