I talk fast because I'm asthmatic, and I'm desperately hoping the words get out before my breath fails.

You can get the dart player out of the pub, but you can't get the pub out of the dart player.

Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.

I'm a postmodern commentator, and so, in a cheeky parallel to James Joyce or James Kelman, I get to places, verbally, that are a little unusual - when I talk about Jocky Wilson and end up sounding like a Jackson Pollock of the commentary box.

The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!

The thing about darts is that you've got to shout. It's not like cricket where you can talk to Michael Atherton and ask him to analyse the bloody nuances. Darts does not have nuances. You've got to hurl yourself at it.