I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.

In [The Mysterious Stranger, Mark Twain] proves to his own grim satisfaction, and to mine as well, that Satan and not God created the planet earth and “the damned human race.” If you doubt that, read your morning paper. Never mind what paper. Never mind what date.

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

The planet was being destroyed by manufacturing processes, and what was being manufactured was lousy, by and large.

What is my definition of jazz? 'Safe sex of the highest order.