I thought I'd be on a boat doing (search) patterns, looking for fishing vessels.

The frustrating thing for us is when we try to find out when it actually occurred (closure to swimming, fishing or drinking), we couldn't get those details from the state.

We thought there would be open water when we got here. Last year, the (ice-fishing demo) was canceled because it was so cold. The year before we had 7 inches of ice and talked to over 200 people.

We were that generation called ''silent,'' but we were silent neither, as some thought, because we shared the period's official optimism nor, as others thought, because we feared its official repression. We were silent because the exhilaration of social action seemed to many of us just one more way of escaping the personal, of masking for a while that dread of the meaningless which was man's fate.

But then I thought it was because she was in rehab.

At first, I thought it was cheesy,