I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.

I did six Broadway shows, and I noticed there weren't many female comedians. When I went to a dancing audition, there were 1,000 girls. And there were three jobs. So I said I'll just try comedy. And I loved it.

When I walk into my office, the other portraits that I look at in addition to (Thomas) Jefferson, the portraits of George Marshall, but especially Dean Acheson.

I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.