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I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.


Emo Philips

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I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under an...
EMO PHILIPS I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of...
EMO PHILIPS My mind feels like a race car on the track, getting faster and faster every time I pause to think or...
SHANNON MULLEN I didnt like being reminded about how self-absorbed i was. I wanted to be over this, done with this....
DONALD MILLER For weeks Tyrone thought he was going to die any minute, and there were also times when he was afrai...
HUBERT SELBY JR. There were a lot of things going on, ... I wasnt too happy. I wasnt going to play.
JASON CAMPBELL It was one of those limp conversations two people have who are never going to see each other again. ...
M.E. KERR A friend of mine and I would go to this dirty little bar in Toronto that has karaoke every Tuesday n...
HANNAH SIMONE The role of the Christian is to let other people know what Jesus has done, not to think of themselve...
LEWIS N. ROE Naturalistic atheism debunks itself. It has no power to explain even some of the most basic principl...
LEWIS N. ROE It's important to understand that if someone calls themselves a Christian, it does not automatically...
LEWIS N. ROE As far back as history records people thinking, thinking people have been befuddled by the mysteries...
LEWIS N. ROE The scientific method gives us information by testing and repeating observable things so that we can...
LEWIS N. ROE A Ritual to Read to Each Other


If you don’t know the kind of person I am
and...
WILLIAM STAFFORD Plunging in “truths” about God is like walking on the bottom of a sea that is not there, searchi...
MARIANA FULGER Phew, that was a close one. I just didn't seem to be able to get any good waves. I was lucky to get ...
CHELSEA GEORGESON The idea here was never to allow Las Vegas or any other non-Indian casinos to get a foothold in stat...
JEFF BENEDICT I have three sons, as different from each other as any three humans could be but connected by their ...
CHRISTINA BAKER KLINE How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine."
The Q...
LEWIS CARROLL I was lucky enough to get it loosened up (thanks to a medicinal shot). It was definitely there, but ...
NATE KAEDING There was no equal pay law when I started working. I was no different to any other woman in any othe...
KATE ADIE I got about a pound-and-a half of chewing gum from under the tables.
WAYNE CARLTON I still had this idea that there was a whole world of marvelous golden people somewhere, as far ahea...
RICHARD YATES It was real Cheyenne. I would get the translations the night before, but it was very difficult becau...
JOE LANDO I wouldn't treat a romantic scene any differently than any other scene. I would really say the b...
ALICE ENGLERT The are just hopping ready to get there.
CHRISTINA SIMS I was surprised to get that rebound. I think I was behind the net, but my stick was in front. I got ...
MARC CHOUINARD There are three very good candidates and we would be lucky to get any one of them. There are two of ...
GRANT MAYER It feels good. I get nervous before every game. But once I was out there, it was the same as any oth...
DESAGANA DIOP I truly believe our league is the toughest league (in the state) as far as teams from top to bottom....
CINDY ANDERSON I can just remember being broke, wondering if I had any talent - really wondering whether this was a...
LENNY ABRAHAMSON I came "here" to get "there." Do I have any fucking clue what "there" is? Hell the fuck no. I'm just...
ROBERT KIRKMAN The atheist might have no proof for the supernatural, but they also have no proof against it. If we ...
LEWIS N. ROE I was very lucky to get well known much later in life. You need to have flopped quite a few times to...
GEORGE CLOONEY I think the contract started out at maybe $500,000, and they had a change order to get it to $700,00...
BRUCE MYERS If I had been trying to take the job away from him in a sneaky, underhand manner, then I deserved al...
IAN ST. JOHN There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get toge...
KIN HUBBARD If I want to be free from any other man's dictation, I must understand that I can have no other man ...
WILLIAM GRAHAM SUMNER From the feelers we are getting, they want to release them in the night, under the cover of the nigh...
ABEL OSHAVIRE My cutting was on point, but the offensive line was phenomenal, ... I just ran hard and ran straight...
CHRIS PATTERSON If I want a man I'll go to a cheap bar, like any other sane woman. I, for one, haven't hit rock bott...
ELEANOR PRESCOTT I was surprised by that. Their front line is very good. They (Central) just had an off night. They a...
FRED RAKERS I'm not trying to get back on a team, but I have tried to stay in shape just in case a team need...
TIM HARDAWAY I was pretty lucky to get into Berklee at all. I never really had any theory or music-reading capabi...
MADI DIAZ When looking for evidence that something exists, it's silly to start by assuming that it is impossib...
LEWIS N. ROE Using the scientific knowledge that we currently possess, we can take simple logical steps, backed b...
LEWIS N. ROE I cannot support for a moment any system of education which in the name of denominationalism or unde...
EDMUND BARTON I am not a time waster… I don't have any time to lose.
DEYTH BANGER If I want to be free from any other man's dictation, I must understand that I can have no other ...
WILLIAM GRAHAM SUMNER Those 43 people are not under any threat. There are not any legal proceedings against them.
HASSAN WIRAJUDA Were looking into the Web sites and trying to determine what relevance there is, if any. In any murd...
EMILY LAGRASSA I'm not staying away from any genre. I'm trying to get scripts that I like.
EMILE HIRSCH We've had nothing but silence from them. We've been trying to be in communication with them to avoid...
JOE EVANS I was never aware of any other option but to question everything.
NOAM CHOMSKY I really honestly wasn't looking for any results. I was just trying to get in there and help out the...
ANDREW ROMINE Some thought he was quite wicked, but in truth, he was no more or less than any other crow: enamored...
CATHERYNNE M. VALENTE On the same line of reasoning, if Australians were to be Australians, or rather if Australians were ...
HENRY LAWSON I was in one bar band from 1965 to '69, then I was in another one from 1970 to '79 - a 9-yea...
ERIC CARR I thought it was a very cute song. I just picked them out because I liked them. I wasn't trying to m...
WANDA JACKSON I had an absolutely, extraordinarily unpleasant evening last night trying to get there, ... I had al...
GWYNETH PALTROW We had the chance to win. It just was not a complete game for us. And in this league, if you don't p...
DAN PINKERTON I like my chances. But it is absolutely still too amorphous for me to make any kind of announcement ...
JOSS WHEDON Whether you say that a god does exist, or that none do, it is a claim to know (or at least believe i...
LEWIS N. ROE There was a time when there was a month after Iowa and New Hampshire before any other states voted, ...
RAY BUCKLEY We are far from perfect but willing to be different.
CRAIG GROESCHEL Growing up in the place I did I never was aware of any other option but to question everything.
NOAM CHOMSKY We do not have any accounts of the suspect getting into an automobile or hopping on a boat,
NORM STAMPER Gregory: "Is there any other point to which you would wish to draw my attention?"
Holmes: "To th...
SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I was just trying to concentrate on each point. I was like, 'This is 5-2 - we can't get any worse.' ...
LAIME CONTRERAS We're going to try to get one of our videotographers under the water and videotape what's happening ...
GREG BROOKS In a universe of electrons and selfish genes, blind physical forces and genetic replication, some pe...
RICHARD DAWKINS We were lucky to get any hits. The score really says it all.
JAVELIN ORMOND Any time you're in a holiday situation, you never know what you are going to get from either team, a...
BRAD TINGEY These armed groups of people have appeared in a very specific environment, and we have been trying a...
IBRAHIM RUGOVA I won't lock my doors or bar them either if any of the old coots in the pictures out in the hall wan...
BESS TRUMAN We will not reject any assistance from any country - Iran or any other. Our delegation was in Tehera...
GHAZI HAMAD I was asked a specific question. It was almost like the guy asked me, 'Why are you standing in the c...
BEN GORDON It was worse than any country bar - it was unbelievable,
WILLIAM COLE If you look at it on paper, we are similar in a lot of ways. But I'll say this: If I had to choose o...
MARLON MCCREE Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
ABOUT LIFE Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
DAVE BARRY Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
COLLEEN HOOVER Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
DAVE BARRY prior to any press reports of allegations linking the Sudanese gum arabic industry to Mr. Osama bin ...
BOB MENENDEZ You feed them, weigh them and work with them so they can get used to being handled by the judges. It...
LAUREN JANSSEN It was a lot of fun, but it was a tough event. They are the top 24 girls in the entire country. Ther...
CASSANDRA PARTYKA Children being children, however, the grotesque Hopping Pot had taken hold of their imaginations. Th...
J.K. ROWLING I have yet to see any tests predict the success or failure of any teacher in the classroom, ... Pass...
CHARLIE WILLIAMS No, no. Don't make that face. Every time I propose to you, you make that twisty, unhappy face. It we...
TESSA DARE I stayed in Baghdad every summer until I was 14. My dad's sister is still there, but many of my ...
ANDY SERKIS I'm not a glamour boy, and I never get the girl. I like to play old people, because there's ...
WALTER BRENNAN In six years, this was not the first time they had found themselves in
such a compromising posi...
JACQUELINE FRANCIS - WANTING TO REMEMBER, TRYING TO FORGET Any fool can fight a winning battle, but it needs character to fight a losing one, and that should i...
W.B. YEATS We're still trying to figure out what happened in that home. We don't have any indication at this po...
ERICH DUMBECK I spent a couple of years not doing any music or anything, just here in Hawaii trying to get healthy...
WALTER BECKER Any night in this district, anybody can beat any other team. We are that balanced. One team is good ...
JENNY TEATER One of the most important things I have found is that no one school of thought has all of the answer...
LEWIS N. ROE I hope he has them chasing blue squirrels all day!" Graystripe hissed to Fireheart as they headed to...
ERIN HUNTER Playing Western Mennonite at our place is an advantage. They're a good basketball team. But we'll be...
CLIFF TONEY I don't -- I don't think you could imagine what condition Monica has been in since that meeting, as ...
MARCIA LEWIS

More Emo Philips

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'...
EMO PHILIPS When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't...
EMO PHILIPS I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'
EMO PHILIPS Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're t...
EMO PHILIPS When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't...
EMO PHILIPS You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don...
EMO PHILIPS People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alib...
EMO PHILIPS I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.&...
EMO PHILIPS Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'
EMO PHILIPS I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than ret...
EMO PHILIPS I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under an...
EMO PHILIPS I ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady... take your purse.'
EMO PHILIPS Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they&...
EMO PHILIPS You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
EMO PHILIPS I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run aroun...
EMO PHILIPS My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' head...
EMO PHILIPS The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of ...
EMO PHILIPS I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.
EMO PHILIPS How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
EMO PHILIPS People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.
EMO PHILIPS I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, yo...
EMO PHILIPS I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to ...
EMO PHILIPS You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being span...
EMO PHILIPS Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
EMO PHILIPS Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
EMO PHILIPS When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping ho...
EMO PHILIPS My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
EMO PHILIPS When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn&#...
EMO PHILIPS A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
EMO PHILIPS I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor wi...
EMO PHILIPS At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second...
EMO PHILIPS I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two...
EMO PHILIPS Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.
EMO PHILIPS New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I sai...
EMO PHILIPS Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because the...
EMO PHILIPS When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of...
EMO PHILIPS Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
EMO PHILIPS Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume ...
EMO PHILIPS My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, w...
EMO PHILIPS When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits tryi...
EMO PHILIPS I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.
EMO PHILIPS People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"
EMO PHILIPS In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they g...
EMO PHILIPS I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know...
EMO PHILIPS Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
EMO PHILIPS I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, "If y...
EMO PHILIPS My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl...
EMO PHILIPS I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
EMO PHILIPS How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.
EMO PHILIPS I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firin...
EMO PHILIPS I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.
EMO PHILIPS People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi.
EMO PHILIPS I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady take your purse."
EMO PHILIPS I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
EMO PHILIPS I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your ...
EMO PHILIPS I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run aroun...
EMO PHILIPS My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
EMO PHILIPS I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked ...
EMO PHILIPS I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
EMO PHILIPS I'm a great lover, I'll bet.
EMO PHILIPS Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.
EMO PHILIPS You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked ...
EMO PHILIPS I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of...
EMO PHILIPS Friends are like television. Some are like PBS and always asking for money. Others are like the news...
EMO PHILIPS I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.
EMO PHILIPS Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi ...
EMO PHILIPS Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
EMO PHILLIPS The view on life isn't just change , but time
EMO STAR Women! Ya can't live with 'em and ya can't get 'em to wear skimpy little Nazi outfits.
EMO PHILLIPS I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was tell...
EMO PHILLIPS People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"
EMO PHILLIPS I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
EMO PHILLIPS At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second...
EMO PHILLIPS The flowers anew, returning seasons bring! But beauty faded has no second spring.
AMBROSE PHILIPS Studious of ease, and fond of humble things.
AMBROSE PHILIPS Little pains In a due hour employ'd great profit yields.
JOHN PHILIPS Save the Planet...Buy Organic
NANCY PHILIPS My galligaskins, that have long withstood The winter's fury, and encroaching frosts, By time s...
JOHN PHILIPS Students joining friends their age for graduation ceremonies can be a very special moment in their d...
KATE PHILIPS The governor understands that the contract allows Penguins owners to take the team to another city i...
KATE PHILIPS My hunch is this is going to be the setting stage for things to come.
CHUCK PHILIPS The flowers anew, returning seasons bring; but beauty faded has no second spring.
AMBROSE PHILIPS All these horror movies are slasher film now. I like them, they're fun, but they wink at the aud...
GINA PHILIPS The underlying fundamentals remain decent, but the pessimism is getting higher. The biggest hindranc...
ROBERT PHILIPS Obviously the commonwealth is not a bank, and it is not in a position to provide loans to county or ...
KATE PHILIPS We hope it doesn't come to that. But, at the end of the day, we cannot put the port (of Philadelphia...
KATE PHILIPS The governor cannot dictate to the commission.
KATE PHILIPS We will not be moving forward. It's disappointing that we couldn't bring this to fruition right now.
KATE PHILIPS If a person is accused of murder and there is a warrant out for their arrest, we would arrest them. ...
KATE PHILIPS The governor still believes it's appropriate for the federal government to take action but inaction ...
KATE PHILIPS The benefits per person would not outweigh the cost to the greater commonwealth, at first glance.
KATE PHILIPS I would not at all characterize the governor as being scared of him by any measure. Both are strong ...
KATE PHILIPS The governor rarely visits Pittsburgh when he doesn't talk to every third person about the arena.
KATE PHILIPS They made good progress and the governor believes there is a general commitment by all four caucuses...
KATE PHILIPS I think the Nasdaq probably bottomed Monday, and we're in the process overall of making a very meani...
ROBERT PHILIPS There is no functional difference between a wire-based phone call and a wireless phone call, so they...
KATE PHILIPS From a technical standpoint the market is in a pretty good place. But I think it's a classic summer ...
ROBERT PHILIPS They produced solid enough numbers but debate on the issues coming out of their trading statement ne...
HARRY PHILIPS The governor would maintain his position if the bill comes to him.
KATE PHILIPS The believer is not a slave to fashion.

ABU AMEENAH BILAL PHILIPS Busy yourself with what is pleasing to Allah, or Satan will busy you with what displeases Him.
ABU AMEENAH BILAL PHILIPS